Hey all,

I just recently fell in love with this song. It's been out for a while in the Philippines, and continues to be number 1 there. I just wanted to share it with you guys and let you know that I'm there for you. Attached is the English translation of the song(Thanks Dad!) Enjoy

Love you guys!

Christina

http://profile.imeem.com/u0nV1A/music/p4VK0Q-s/hawak_kamay/

Sometimes you feel a heavy load
so hard to bear, you'd say "I can't take it anymore"

Just look at the sky
a silver lining you might find
or, you can count on me (or, you can call me ?)
I'll be here, anytime

[chorus]
Hold my hand… (hand in hand ?)
I will always be at your side
In a world of uncertainty,
hold my hand…
I won't let go
in an empty world

sometimes you feel
the world is crumbling under your feet
and the wave of despair overwhelms you

Just look at the sky
a silver lining you might find
or, you can count on me
I'll be here, anytime

[repeat chorus]

[bridge]
Don't ever feel you're alone
always remember you have me
I'm here for you, oh, I'm her for you

[repeat chorus]

In an empty world…

Hand in hand…

In an empty world…..

CABLE....FINALLY!! The last time I had cable was for 4 months in 2003 when I was living in Philadelphia. My mom has been a subscriber to The Filipino Channel for almost 2 years now, which is through Direct TV. They require you to have at least the basic channel plan(9.99) to add TFC. I decided that when I start residency I would get REAL cable and also get a DV-R to record all the shows I want to watch. I mentioned this during dinner last night. Her boyfriend, who also subscribes said that for international subscribers it's only 20 bucks more to add regular cable. I thought it would be more so I figured, why not get cable now. While I was at work, he called and set up the cable for us. When I got home I was pleasantly surprised to find that we had MTV, VH1, E!, the Food Network, and many more! The only 2 channels I want that are missing are FX and Bravo. I'll have to reassess when I start residency as to what channels I can get for what price. At that time I will also figure out my DV-R situation. Happy President's Day indeed!

My Playlist

Oh how exciting! I saw this on my friend's blog and thought it was the coolest thing ever. Finetune allows you to make playlists or listen to other people's playlists. You can add up to 45 songs and embed it into your myspace or blogger. FREAKING awesome! Plus if you want to sample an artist or similar artists, then you can just listen to it on the website as well. :) enjoy people! I know all the songs are pretty random, but I'm a random kind of person.

If you want to forward to the next song just move the cursor to the far left of the icon and click!

Love Day

This year I was ready to just live through what everyone calls "Valentine's Day" and treat it just like any other Wednesday. It didn't even hit me until last night that it was coming really. I didn't send out any cards(I never do) and I didn't get anyone gifts(usually for my mom, and in years passed the sig. other). I was going to completely deny and avoid the day that makes all single people feel like crap.

This morning however, I was pleasantly surprised by my friend Melissa who had brought me a little bag of goodies and a Valentine. When I got home I had received an e-card Valentine from her as well. She reminded me that I was loved and that Valentine's Day isn't just for couples. It's for the people you care about and letting them know you love them. In keeping with the pleasant surprises, I received a forward from my uncle(just one of many he usually sends along) and I decided to open it. It was a Snoopy powerpoint. Short and simple with the "Cheers" theme song playing in the background. It made me feel all warm and mushy inside so I sent it to all my loved ones hoping it would make them feel the same way.

So I'm changing my perception of Valentine's Day and welcoming all the love. It's turned out to be a pretty good day. I got off work at 1130. I had an awesome lunch with my mom and sister to Market Broiler, where they gave us 2 extra halves of snow crab to compensate for the "long wait"(5 min or so more than usual for our food)!!! Now, I'm going to spend some quality time with my sister, doing nails and vegging out to Charmed DVDs.

Hope all of you had a lovely day!

Project #1: DONE!!

It's about a month late, but I'm finally done. I never did find my journal. I had to Google or Wikipedia certain sights we saw throughout Europe. I wouldn't say the picture book is perfect, but it's done and I'm happy. At least I have some of the memories there, where I can look at them and read about them, instead of sitting in my computer, on some disk or sitting in a box somewhere. I highly recommend doing this. It's takes a while but for me, anyways, it's much less frustrating and messy than doing an actual scrapbook.

****I highly recommend writing in a journal when you go on trips like that. It helps to remember what the hell pictures you took. Also, I highly recommend remembering where you put said journal after your trip is over and making a photobook less than a year after your trip.

In related news....

I have another project that I started. This one is mandatory since it will be showing at my graduation dinner. I'm making a slideshow of all four years of medical school. I KNOW this will be a pain in the ass, but I'm prepared to conquer the challenge!!! I have the right software, most of the pictures, a plan in my head. I'm just waiting for that DVD burner and crossing my fingers that my computer can handle all the work!!

A day to be thankful for...

I woke up today dreading work. My day didn't really start until 10am, which was good, but I knew it would be a long day. The last two weeks have been draining; long hours, patient's health stagnant/unimproved/worsened. Today the first patient I saw was a little old lady who had been on a health rollercoaster; finally getting over one infection and then having to deal with another. She had been depressed over the last week because her status hadn't been improving, she was having some nausea and vomitting and I was scared she would deteriorate over the weekend. I walked into her room to find her sitting up. Her face LIT UP when she saw me. She had this HUGE smile on her face and just looked 100% better; no nausea, no vomiting, tolerating clear liquids and on her way out to be transfered to a long term care facility and out OUT OF THE UNIT(ICU-intensive care unit). It was all I could do to keep from crying. She asked if I was going to see her at the other facility and I told her that my doctor didn't go to that hospital. I told her that she was the highlight of my day and that I was glad that I saw her first. I told her that if I don't see her tomorrow I'd be happy because I know she'd be in a good place, but I'd be sad because I wouldn't see her anymore. It just felt so good.

I know this all sounds sappy but seriously, those moments I spent in the room with her are the moments that remind me why I'm in this profession. It keeps me going after a long day, knowing I have to get up early the next morning.

Plus I got some good news today and I was also able to see my patients, talk to their family and take my time while doing so.

I feel like I've been neglecting this site so I'm forcing myself to blog about random thoughts.

1. I need to watch the movies for Oscars, but I have no time because I just waste my time all day if I'm not doing something that is related to "work."
2. I don't want to go into work tomorrow. I hope my doctor doesn't show up so I can go home early AND not have to look up anything.
3. I'm wondering if I will get any of the things in my post two blogs down done. Well I have to get at least one of them done.
4. I am so freakin lazy right now. Senioritis came early and is getting progressively worse as match day approaches.
5. I'm sad some of my friends are leaving soon to go to residency. We'll all be scattered. :(
6. I'm hungry but it's past my 8pm no eating time. I might just sleep lol.
7. Looking forward to new opportunities.....

Wow, Google really DOES own everything...

Earlier tonight I learned that Google now owns YouTube. Just now, I was just forced by blogger to update my account to the "new version" which allows you to use your Google account information. It was kind of irritating. I mean it's annoying to have to click "old version" vs. "new version" but then they force me to do the new version and I STILL have to click old or new upon sign in. Can I just sign in please?

Ok I thought this was going to be a more interesting blog but really the paragraph above is just what I said in my head. And now I have nothing to say, but at least I blogged! haha.

Too many projects not enough time/motivation...

1. Finish Europe 2004 photobook on Shutterfly. I was supposed to have this finished for my cousin, Melissa's birthday, but that did not happen.

I have arranged all the pictures, however, I need to finish the captions. This requires me to dig up my journal that I wrote on the trip, as I have forgotten the names of certain places we went. Which brings me to....

2. Organize and clean out my cluttered room. This serves multiple purposes. First, I would be able to find my journal for #1(hopefully). Second, it's just good to be clean and organized. and Third, it is part of projects 3 and 4.

3. Install wood laminate flooring upstairs. This won't be happening until April, but I know that date will approach at lightining speed. I researched some of the aspects and wrote down things I need to do. I just have to print the instructions.

What I have to do now is clean out the rooms that we're going to be installing laminate in. First priority is obviously my room because I have the most control over that. I already finished doing one corner of the loft upstairs, but that room should be easy. My mom's room is all her. And the middle room is a half and half deal. I think this will be the most tedious part of this whole process: getting rid of all our junk.

4. Redecorate my room. See, I think this can wait for a while, but if I can manage coordinating this with the wood laminate flooring project, then it might be more practical. I want to repaint my room and make it look more sophisticated.

a. One project for the room is to take all my pictures in my portfolio, print them out
and make them into a collage in one big frame.

I think those are enough/too much for now. I can probably finish #1 by the end of this month. As for #2 I could probably get some headway in February, slowly but surely. The rest are a hefty load so I will just have to get that done when the time comes.

Dr. Nurse

This article was one of the medical news articles on my home page:

Filipino MD Picks Life As Nurse in U.S.

It tells the tale of Elmer Jacinto who trained as a nurse and then doctor in the Philippines. He moved to America in hopes of finding a better future and earning money to send back to his family in the Philippines...but as a nurse.

"A nurse in the Philippines makes $150 to $250 a month; doctors make $300 to $800. But the average registered nurse in the U.S. earns $4,000 a month."

I started think, however, "Why don't these doctors pursue a career in medicine in the U.S.?" It pays even more than a nurse. I could understand that perhaps passing the boards is difficult because of the language barriers, but there are many foreign medical graduates out there practicing medicine just fine. I asked my mom the reason behind the Dr. Nurses. She explained to me that if you're a nurse, you can get petitioned more quickly to work legally in the U.S. than doctors since they are in demand.

Another interesting point the article brought up was that since all these doctors who trained in the Philippines are heading to America for a career in nursing, there is a shortage of doctors in the Philippines, especially in the rural parts. I never really thought about this, but it made me kind of sad. These people are just trying to find a better life for themselves, but in doing so other people are left without healthcare; and those that stayed are being shortchanged even more for doing good. I guess it's just one of those things in healthcare that need a solution, but it will be years before we actually find one, much like the health insurance gap here in the U.S.

27 going on 17

Somehow I thought I would be a little more grown up by the time I hit 27. I think a big part of that is because I still live at home with my mom and my sister, but there are other things too. I know you're not supposed to compare yourself with other people but it's hard not to when you are the outlier in a group of friends. I have friends and family who are planning weddings. Others have bought houses and some are preparing for a move out of state. I have another subset of friends who all have children and husbands to take care of. Most, if not all, have their own places and have independent lives from their families.

Mine is a special situation though. I keep telling myself that, but it doesn't help make it any less..."ok" for lack of a better word. There are various reasons why I choose to/feel like I have to stay living at home. For one, it's easier on my family if I'm home and able to babysit my sister as needed. Another reason is that it's just more practical for me to live here. I'm saving about 10 grand in rent a year, and I'm sure living alone wouldn't make me feel any less lonely than I already am. So in the end, I think it's the right decision. I love my family and consider them a priority. It's just hard to feel like an adult when you live under your mom's roof.

The only thing holding onto my adulthood is the fact that I'm going to be a doctor in 5 months and earning money in 7 months. Hopefully things will change by then. I'm planning on revamping my moms house with new flooring and also redecorating my room. I don't know what that will do, but it gives me a sense of change; a newness to it all. I just feel stagnant even though i'm "going places." I might as well try and take charge of the situation instead of sitting here feeling sorry for myself.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I figured the start of 2007 warranted a post. This year will hold several milestones in my life.

Milestones of 2007
1. 10 years out of high school
2. Graduating from medical school and FINALLY becoming a "doctor"
3. Starting residency, which will determine the next 3 years of my life
a. internship year: the hardest year of residency
4. Taking Step 3 of boards, the last and final one!!! (This might happen in 2008 but if i'm ambitious maybe 2007?)
5. 3 weddings(that I know I'm going to), 2 of which I'm a bridesmaid...this number could climb
6. Trips planned: Hawaii and the Philippines!

Ok I thought there were more than that but 2 and 3 are biggies so they take up like top 5 haha.

Looking back....

2006 was an interesting year. It was the first year in a LONG time that had been completely single. I think it went by so fast because there was so much sh*t going on. But, see, I survivied and made some good memories along the way.

Milestones of 2006
1. Studied for, took and passed Step 2 Clinical and Written boards
2. Residency applications and interviews, which will continue through the new year.
3. 3 weddings, 1 of which I was a bridesmaid: most weddings I've been to in a year.
4. Finished 9(+/-) clinical rotations
5. Bought an iPod
6. Trips: Philadelphia, PA and Plymouth, Michigan...does two trips to Vegas count too?

Seriously that's all I can remember from 2006. Isn't that sad? hehe.

Happy New Year everyone. Hope this turns out to be a good one for all of us!

One mention of Jerry Springer....

I'm working at an outpatient office with a doc who is originally from Cincinati, OH. I had mentioned to him yesterday that I was going to see the Dancing with the Stars on tour at the Staples center. This morning he asked me how it was and asked who was there. The subject eventually found its way to Jerry Springer. He proceeded to tell me about how sleezy he was. He used to be the mayor of Cincinati until he was caught with a prostitute. Apparently the mayor of Cincinati is more like a "for looks" kind of thing and he really just does PR for the city and the city manager does everything. According to my doc, Jerry freqented a nearby Kentucky city that had all kinds of strip clubs and the like.

Ironically enough, in the next door office that he shares with a family physician, a fight ensued between the MA secretary(pink girl) and the other MA(blue girl). I guess blue girl attacked pink girl and they started going at it...AT WORK! My doc says the girls never liked each other. At any rate, someone's gonna get fired. Their doc isn't in the office, but my doc is going to call him and let him know of the situation.

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Random Events

1. I have a sty that I've been trying to get rid of since Tuesday. Warm compresses are only keeping it down, but I dunno what to do to make it go away. GO AWAY!!

2. I love Target, I do. But the photo department at my neighborhood Target SUCKS ASS. The guy that runs the photo center is really nice, but he doesn't really know anything, so he gets the brunt of my frustrations. I waited FOREVER to use the Kodak machine because the girl in front of me had like a bajillion pictures and the 2nd machine was broken. When I get to the machine it doesn't recognize my USB drive. WTF. I ask the guy and he's like, "Oh, yeah that machine doesn't work with USB. The one that's broken does." Fack post a sign or something!

3. I am currently doing 7 loads of laundry. I'm at 4/7. I want to finish tonight. I wonder if that will happen.

4. I need to wrap the presents. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow morning.

5. I'm looking forward to this weekend. Friday I'm going out with some friends and my cousin to Fullerton to do some eating, dancing and drinking for them. Saturday is an undisclosed function because it is a surprise function. Sunday is the family Christmas party. Good food, good company. Sounds like the makings of an awesome Christmas weekend!

smart/success is in the eye of the beholder

My friend from med school had her annual Christmas party today. The party consisted of, physical therapy students, medical students, one doctor, one lawyer, one business owner(?), a marine, one bioengineer, one PR type person and 2 other people I don't know what they did. So the PR person, the lawyer, the bioengineer and I were having a conversation about what we did for a living. It was kind of interesting that each of us were so impressed with each other's profession.

I was blown away at what the bioengineer had accomplished. Undergrad was Berkeley(Bioengineer major), Master's in Mechanical Engineering at Cambridge(?) and now she's getting a pHD in Bioengineering at Stanford(?). Engineering is freakin' hard. We all felt really stupid compared to her hehe. The lawyer was saying that she didn't think law school was hard and in my head I'm thinking, medical school isn't as hard as people think. But there's no way I could go to law school and read all that crap and write all those papers. That's smart! You get the gist.

So, it got me thinking at how I admire so many people who have various careers that I couldn't fathom myself doing. Teachers for example. I have a few teacher friends and when they tell stories about work, I just sit there baffled thinking, "What would I do in that situation?" I wouldn't be able to handle. Same thing goes for my friends who are housewives. It's insane what they do! And forget about the people who deal with money, computers and spreadsheets; there's no way I could do what they do. It all really makes me feel like I'm a lazy person even though people see me and say, "Wow you're in medical school!!!"

I guess if you think about it, your accomplishments in life don't seem that hard once you've accomplished them. But you just have to remember that it IS an accomplishment. You HAVE acheived something. You ARE smart and successful; if you don't see it yourself, someone else is bound to see it for you.

"Are BlackBerry users the new smokers?"

I read this article and found it quite interesting and true. While second hand texting won't kill you, someone texting in a car might, so I will welcome the parallel. More importantly, I've felt what the author has felt with certain people who text/answer phones during a dinner out. I understand answering a phone call if it's "important" or if it's someone you really haven't heard from in a long time, but as courtesy, one should excuse themselves and walk away from the table if the conversation is going to last more than a few seconds. Furthermore, I think it's rude to text back and forth with someone while you're eating dinner with another person. My mom does this ALLLLL the time. I feel like the parent(which isn't a new thing) wanting to just make the rule of no cell phones or gadgets at the dinner table.

Here's an example of improper use of cell phone etiquette. I was at an interview today and during the noon conference(where a member of the faculty or a guest lecturer gives a talk) one of my fellow interviewee's phone goes off. It takes her about a good minute to find her phone in her purse as it continues to ring, not even bothering to apologize. I give her the benefit of the doubt and maybe she forgot to turn off her phone ringer. It goes off AGAIN a minute later. You know what she does? SHE ANSWERS THE PHONE! Tells the caller, "I'm not done yet. I'll call you back." Doesn't apologize again and really pretends like nothing happened. What's wrong with people? You're interviewing at this place!! Why are you so blatantly rude? I was beside myself.

The highlight of my day...

I got home from a tiring and frustrating day on the interview trail and checked my real mail. There was an envelope from some random person in Chino Hills. Puzzled, I proceeded to open the envelope. Inside was a check I had made out to my dad for a hefty sum of money when he left on Thanksgiving and subsequently lost, and a note which read:

"I found this check at the airport(LAX) and I'm sending it back to you guys. Any question, you can write to me at the address in front. Thanks, God bless you."

How freakin' great is that? It's good to know that there are still people out there who care like that; Care enough to take time out of their day to write a note, put a stamp on an envelope and send it back.

Why my day was so frustrating...

1. I triple checked when I set my alarm, if the time was right, if the alarms were on. I even set TWO alarms. I had to get up at 4:45 which would allow me ample time (2 hours) to get to Long Beach for my interview. What time did I wake up? 6am!!!

2. Traffic up the ass on my way there....Traffic up the ass on my way back.

3. The interview (I felt) did not go well and not just because I was late. It really didn't even seem like a big deal that I was late. I mean I felt all flustered for the first hour or so, but I calmed down. I just didn't feel like I was wanted there. I guess I'm a high maintenance interviewee eh?

Random Things

1. I'm scaring myself right now hehe. I'm sitting at home with my sister. It's pouring outside. The wind is howling and blowing through a draft in my front door which has a windchime attached to it. So every now and then the windchime jingles. It's freaking me out. So, I say to myself, "Ok, you just need music." I go to my cousin's site to play her playlist. ERROR. dammit! I try a couple of more times; still nothing. Help! I got to my myspace to listen to my song...it says it was deleted by artist. Fack! Right now I'm listening to Nancy's myspace song and I will move on to my friend Melissa's song and so on and so forth. I can still hear that damned chime. I'm too scared to go downstairs to take it off the door. I know I'm lame.

2. I just finished making a Skor cake(although it should be called a Heath cake cuz I used Heath chips instead of Skor chips) for the post Loma Linda Holiday Classic Party at Nancy's house. I wonder if the walk/run will be cancelled since it's raining and all. Hopefully the party won't be. I'm a wuss. I backed out for a lame reason. I can't be in the sun because of my meds. Lol. But I made those who will participate a really delicious cake! I'm supporting. :) Anyway, that cake took forever, but it's not hard to make. There's just a lot of components that go into it. It's yummy.

3. What's up with crappy drivers especially around the holidays. It seems like the inner a-hole driver comes out in a lot of us eh? I guess people are in a rush. Calm down people.

4. I think I'm getting rid of my bangs. Not that there's much bangs left. I have been slowly phasing them out for the past few months, but this month they're hardly noticeable. I like it better. I think it makes my face looks skinnier and it'll be easier to manage. I'll keep the layers, as always. :)

5. My friend's going to Europe for Christmas break. I want to go to Europe. She's bringing her little 5(?) year old nephew; how freakin lucky is he? Guess what I'm doing on my week-long Christmas break. Interviewing. Now, doesn't that just sound like a blast?

6. Alright now I'm just rambling. Have a good rest of the weekend everyone!

Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

Match Day: I can't believe it's 3 months away.

Match Day is when 4th year medical students find out which residency program they matched with. Next year, that day is March 15. On March 13, two days before, you find out IF you matched or not. If you don't match, then you have two days to "scramble" into a program, ANY program that wishes to take you. This means you could end up doing a residency you didn't plan on doing(i.e. a person who wanted to do Surgery must now do Internal Medicine) or in a residency program that is not the most ideal for you. This also involves a lot of phone calls, faxes and pulling-your-hair-out moments. We do NOT want this to happen. BASICALLY, Match Day is when I find out what I'll be doing for the next three years of my life.

So what is this "Match" business anyway? The match is what determines the residency program medical students will be accepted into. How this works is, fourth year medical students apply to their programs of choice during late summer/early fall. Programs choose which students to interview and the interview season lasts from Oct-Jan-ish. The programs then rank their interviewees. The students rank the programs they want. These two rank lists are put into a computer where an algorithm figures out what is the perfect match.

In my head, here's how I think it works. Let's say a program accepts 9 residents and they 30 applicants from 1-30. The top 9 are automatically "in." But if any of those top 9 fail to rank that program as number 1 on their list, then number 10 moves up to 9 and the rest follow. Same goes for the student. Let's say a student ranks 3 programs. But their number 1 program doesn't rank the student. Then their number 2 slot moves to number 1 and they will match at that program. Who's bored and confused? So the computer figures that out and comes up with a "match" which is released on...wait for it, MATCH DAY!

You can all thank Nancy for that wonderful blog since she asked me. I figured I'd enlighten those of you who didn't know. Hell, I'm going through it and I'm STILL confused.

Christina = Stupid

Anyone wondering why I have NO comments? My omnipotent(no, not impotent) friend Brad, asked me today, "Why don't any of our comments show up on your blog?" Hmmm maybe cuz I didn't know I had to moderate comments on my blogger. Usually they send me an email saying someone left me a comment. But now you have to go to "Moderate comments" and then approve all the comments. WHO KNEW?! Anyway this blog isn't as interesting as I thought it was going to be. Also, I had something else I wanted to blog about, but have since forgot secondary to my food coma from McDonalds.