yeah i think i'm bipolar. i feel all blah today. just feel sad or whatever. i dunno.
listening to: travis tritt-it's a great day to be alive--trying to cheer myself up

i tried posting this yesterday...but blogger was down...

ah today was a good day. even though i have been really tired and at first i really didn't want to go to my friends bday dinner just b/c i was being a lazy ass. so i dragged myself...actually i was rushing b/c i lolligagged until the last possible minute. i had to go get flowers for this one girl and then a picture frame for my friend. and it all turned out great cuz i found the perfect frame and flowers.

so we went to dinner for my friend grace's and this girl elene(pronounced like elaine)'s bday. we went to a chinese/korean restaurant. crazy huh? anyway so it's super cheap and we have super good food. oh but first we went to ikea to get her gift card...and i had some swedish meatballs! haha it was yum. yes i am fat so what!?!? but i had so much fun. it was a bunch of girls like 16 or so..there were like 2 groups...for the 2 girls' bday but we all go to school together. anyway my group of friends is really really big...we have 12 ppl total 11 girls and 1 guy. and you know what? i used to think, that's way too much...but all of them are really cool in their own little way. and we are way diverse which i also think is really cool b/c u see cliques within our class...and they're mostly based on ethnic lines. but we have 4 white ppl, 2 black ppl(2 out of the 2.5 black ppl in our class haha), one korean, 2 filipinos, one asian indian and one vietnamese--does that add up to 12? i think so. but isn't that great? so i love my friends and they're hella cool, sweet and awesome!! shoutouts to the 2nd and 3rd row on the (if you're looking at the lecturer) RIGHT!! woohoo. :)

listening to: woman-john lennon

oh oh and what i thought was REALLY weird was...ok after dinner we were getting the bill togehter which came out to 58.02...so we tipped him like 8 and some change. so one of my friends paid 7 bucks on her discover then gave him 60 in cash. so he comes back and is like...."so you put 7 on card and i'm confused this is 60 but bill is 58" and i just told him "KEEP THE CHANGE"...and he was like so "8 buck tip?" and we were like uh...yeah. and he kept asking and looking confused...and it's like ok dude....so lets say it was a 60 buck bill...10% is like 6 bucks....so we're giving you 15% tip...which is normal. so my friends are like super nice and they pitched in like 5 more bucks. the reason why i thought it was weird was that usually chinese or asian places don't really care about tip. i mean am i being ignorant or don't they usually expect like 10% tip? so either he was complaining about the tip or he didn't understand what was going on....but i seriously think he was just complaining about the tip. what do y'all think?

my mom made me go to church today...and i am really thankful to her for it. i didn't wanna go to church b/c i had to study for my anatomy test. but for some reason, church has really been helping me figure out my life and just realizing what's important you know? as well as, helping me understand what's going on within me. so today the deacon preached the gospel and he was talking about the story between Jesus and the blind man. And when Jesus called the blind man jumped up, dropping all his valuables and ran to Jesus. Jesus asked, "What is it you want?" and the blind man said, "I want to see."...Isn't that powerful? In order for one to "see" one must disregard all the trivial things in life and realize what's important. anyway i really liked it. back to studying!

listening to: some random rock song on X1039...boo i should change the station...

so my priorities are screwed up....it's 1 and i don't wanna go to sleep. i'm not being a v. good med student. i feel lost....

listening to: er track 13 off the michelle branch album...i dunno the name i think it's called "it's you"

Wow, so today was my VERY first freak out breakdown in med school!! Congrats to me. As a result of my block-long procrastination I was completely overwhelmed w/ all the anatomy I have to learn in 5 days! My reason for procrastinating was b/c my professors sucked and I didn't want to study it b/c I didn't understand it or thought it was too much work. That is not, however, any kind of excuse b/c I could have learned it all on my own...which is exactly what I'm doing now. See how I sound very calm and relaxed? This was not the case 4 hours ago. At around 730 pm I had been reading a lecture for an hour...and was not retaining anything. I wanted to cry, I was frustrated and I still didn't know ANYTHING. Lesson learned: I cannot learn just by reading. I was too lazy to draw everything out. Solution: copy and paste diagrams from powerpoint onto word document and label that way. BAM! worked like a charm and now I'm thinking more like how I should, in the anatomy perspective and I am learning(hopefully). At least I feel like I'm getting good work in and thats' all that really matters. Another lesson learned: I MUST MUST pre-read and prep for anatomy lecture and lab the day before each lecture/lab. This is what they told me at the very beginning but I was sidetracked by the lack of organization/structure/GOOD TEACHING of this anatomy block. So now i know, NO MATTER WHAT, study for anatomy. And I knew this...which is why i was so frustrated with myself...but now i know it's doable b/c it only takes an hour an a half to 2 hours tops per lecture/lab. So I will do that next block.

listening to: Track 12 on the Michelle Branch album...i dunno what it's called but it has French in it.

hey all...so my bday was fun despite the physio test. i had a dinner thing at BJ's pizzeria and brewery in West Covina. Most of my WesternU friends went and kyle and a few of his friends. the lame part was that i got faded off of 2 drinks...but in my defense i only had a banana since 1...and i started drinking at around 8 something before our food came. my friends got me a 100 dollar GC for nordstroms. i think i'm gonna get a MAC makeover and buy some make up. Then buy something to wear or whatever. kyle got me 24 red roses which was really sweet and the season 4 of friends DVD and Chicago on DVD. And our friends Sokhom and Kim gave me a khaki purse and a khaki top. v. cute.

so i have an anatomy exam next monday and i don't feel that confident about it at ALL. and this is not my normal lack of confidence...i really haven't learned anything this whole block. it has really sucked monkey balls. so i'm half assing studyiing b/c i want to get through everything. i am done going through half of the lectures...but i dunno how much i retained. the 2nd half shouldn't be too hard, but we'll see. I think i will be fine..but i am just scared and feeling lame b/c i'm not a v. good student at the moment. hopefully this will change after this anatomy exam and i will get on the ball again. b/c it really isn't that hard to prepare for the next day's lecture. i did it today for thursday's lecture.

tomorrow i plan on staying at school all day so i can get some work done. we have a biochem review too...which blows and will only make me lazier. whoopie. time for bed now tho.

listening to: why don't you and i--carlos santana and chad kroger

i love my boyfriend! :) no particular reason...just feeling the love. :D back to studying!!

ugh...so today is the 19th..day before my bday. so i wanted to have like a family lunch whatever. and my mom was like can you call these ppl...and i was like ok whatever. i had forgotten to do that b/c i was busy w/ school and what not and i really felt that she should do it. so i didn't have my aunt's number and my other cousin was living w/ them so i called him..and he said he was gonna meet up w/ them so i told him to tell them about the party and just call my mom or whatever. turns out he never told them...and whenever his sister told me that my aunt didn't know about my party, i thought she was kidding cuz she does stuff like that and she had said just kidding on the IM and then never clarified. should i have called them personally? yes. it's my bad but i just feel like grr my mom should have done all this stuff u know? she knows i have school and i don't even know how to get there. i'm just feeling like crap and it's for my bday. i wanted to feel special and just have a party not having to worry about anything. then this morning she was like..."do you want a cake?" how the hell could you even ask that. of course i want a damn cake. it's my bday. then she asks what i want for my bday....man just once i would like her to just ask ppl who know me and get a gift...without having to ask me---THE DAY OF. i know she prolly thinkns it's more practical and she would be getting me something i wanted but the surprise is always welcome. maybe i'm just being a brat...but a girl likes to feel special right? blah blah. i'm gonna study for physio now b/c i have a test tomorrow. whoopie.

listenting: lacey's song-buddy jewell

once again, i am hating school. for the most part it's because our anatomy professors this block SUCK ASS! i got used to dr. bales our first professor and then they switched it up on us. the lectures/labs aren't as complete now...and it takes forever to study each lecture b/c i have to look everything up. yeah i'm being a bitch about it, but don't get us used to one thing then change it! we need consistency here...how are we supposed to learn??? the professor we have now doesn't tell as at ALL what to do in our lab. we're supposed to use the Grants dissector book that we're not used to...and it's not v. helpful. it's just so frustratiing!! it makes me hate learning...which i'm supposed to like b/c this is actually interesting stuff...but they suck the life out of me!!!!!! all i want to do is eat and sleep and eat and sleep. booooooo! boo on the anatomy and physiology professors. Dr. May and Dr. Kiick and Dr. Bales have been the best professors thusfar. At least we have Dr. Kiick for biochem...he makes me wanna learn biochem. Dr. Fiorindo on the other hand(for physio) has been going over membrane transport, the sodium potassium pump and action potentials FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER...and then after that he REVIEWS everything he just said!!! and they expect us to go to lecture?!?!?! I mean they tell us not to bitch but c'mon shit! give me the education i'm paying 30 grand a year for!!! ARGH!!! i mean who do i go talk to about that? does anyone care? BLAH!

listening to: shit

so last night i watched Forrest Gump....man that is a GOOD ASS movie! i hadn't seen it in a while, so i watched while i did the laundry. It's really really good. It has a great story, the direction/cinematography, script and acting is fabulous....it has wit, drama, everything. ok just wanted to share. :P

listening to: kelly clarckson-miss independent
OH and emma thompson is cast to play professor trelawney in Harry Potter and the PoA movie set to come out June 5, 2004!!!

ok for the sports fans in the house...i RAREly take an interest in sports but this one caught my eye

the redhead and i were trying to figure out who we wanted to win the world series...because we liked the red sox and the cubs cuz they havne't won a WS in FOREVER. in our thought process...at the time, we thought the cubs were just on a regular old losing streak....and we thougth the curse of the bambino is a cool curse and wanted to keep it going. so we decided to go for the cubbies. THEN i found out about the billy goat curse from my friend who is from chicago. dork that i am, i did some research....

so i got the info on the cubbies. the curse of billy the goat....billy the goat is/was(?) this famous pub/bar in chicago...the owner of the pub wanted to bring his goat into the game(world series 1945)...he bought a ticket for himself and the goat...and they were denied entrance. so they escorted them out of the park and he cursed the cubs and wrigley field.

sooooo the strange thing i learned is...that the curse of the bambino....it TECHnically started in 1920 when the sox traded babe ruth to the yankees...but they haven't won a world series since 1918....if you do the math using 1918....the curse of the billy goat is on it's 58th year...while the curse of the bambino is in it's 85th year!! how crazy is that?!

yes i'm old AND i'm a dork! :D

haha listen!
Delta Airlines

JAMES TAYLOR CONCERT TONIGHT! yeah i'm old so what??? he's the best!

hahaha check it out
Outrage over Ghettopoly
Ghettopoly.com

read the first one first. i dunno why ppl are mad...they have dope wars and grand theft auto. :D

listening to---i mean NOT listening to Dr. Foster's lecture about the stomach

hmm so i'm getting that feeling again. i have a biochem test tomorrow...didn't really study too much for it...but i feel ok. it's getting scary cuz damn like am i learning enough? am i taking things as seriously as i should be? well i mean it's my 3rd time taking the course..i would hope that i understood certain things well enough so that i wouldn't have to study for them. i'm also concerned that my school isn't preparing us for boards. like as hard as it is to be in med school...shouldn't it be harder? maybe i'm just being arrogant...and i should thank my lucky stars that i was in a program that helped me prepare for med school so it WOULD be easier for me.

I AM definitely behind in anatomy though. i'm gonna need to get on that ish this weekend as well as catch up on physiology. sigh. well at least i'm motivated....or am i????

listening to: halo friendlies-me against the world

One must have time for oneself

So I've been in a funk for the past 3 weeks and HOPING today i have snapped out of it. I've been sick for the past couple of days and have had no motivation since my first anatomy exam. But today...today I feel different. I cleaned my room and organized my school stuff(put away old anatomy, micro, histo stuff from the first exams) and now i am going to take baby steps into getting caught up. I am still sick and my head is all retarded congested but I am GETTING IN GEAR! For the past 3 weeks I've been lazy and THINKING about all the stuff I had to do and not really doing anything. In being lazy I would delude myself into thinking that it was "time i needed for myself" when it was really time spent wasted on not doing anything at all b/c i didn't want to study. Time for myself should be reading a book, organizing my life, cleaning my place so i feel good about it, cooking something so i can eat actual food, talking on the phone with loved ones...etc....NOT vegging out in front of the tv or in front of my computer. So here I am trying to get my head in gear...let's hope this lasts!!

listening to: mmm i THINK it's led zepplin on the classic rock station.....kyle and i watched "school of rock" and it was really funny, but also got me wanting to listen to some good ass rock! which is prolly better than all the crap that's coming out these days. :)