Blog #3 (Nov. 3)

Pinoy Ako(I am Filipino)

My mother has been an avid TFC(The Filipino Channel) watcher for a little over a year now. So I have been exposed, some might say over-exposed to the Filipino culture. I think I may know more about Filipino news than American news, which is just sad. At any rate, here is what I learned. If you have ANY kind of Filipino in you, and you reach minor stardom in the U.S., you will be worshiped 50 thousand times more in the Philippines. This is why I think Emmit Smith will win Dancing with the Stars and a large reason why Drew Lachey won last year.


Cheryl Burke

Now don't get me wrong. I don't think they won simply because she's Filipino. She knows how to cater to the crowd and she was lucky enough to get a partner who could actually dance. If she had gotten Master P it would be all over haha. So the crazy thing is that she was in this little snippet on TFC talking about how she's Pinoy and how that helped her get to where she's at blah blah blah. I couldn't find a clip but it was really cheesy hehe.




Manny Pacquiao

This man has risen to stardom in the past few years. I've never actually seen him fight, but I've heard he's a great boxer. The INSANE thing is he's a mega superstar back in the Philippines. He has....wait for it---and album and I think they're making a movie about his life. Below is the video to his hit song, "Para Sa 'Yo, and Laban Na 'To"(This Fight is for You).




Jasmine Trias

Jasmine Trias' story is by far was the most entertaining. She did relatively well on American Idol(3rd place), but the Philippines had much more in store for her. My mom was watching TFC one day and I see Jasmine on TV on some show or movie. The hilarious thing was that she was speaking English while all the characters around her spoke Tagalog. It was super cheese. She's a total flip celeb now.

Other notable flips:
Batista(halfie), Rufio(Dante Basco)(full), Phoebe Cates(1/4 flip), Enrique Iglesias - (part Filipino mother), Nicole Scherzinger - lead singer for the Pussycat Dolls (halfie), Vanessa Minnillo - model, host MTV's TRL(halfie)....that should be enough. I love Wikepedia. Here's a full list if you really want to know....Fil-Ams.

Blog #2 (Nov. 2)

Right now at 5:18 pm it is 80 degrees outside. What the heck is going on? It's November. I blame the weird weather for why I have no idea what season we are in or what month it is. A few days ago a friend of mine was talking about going snowboarding soon. I was thinking, but all the snow's gone. It's spring. NOPE!!! It's not spring but sure as hell feels like spring.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I don't really have any cute winter clothes to wear. Hmm....maybe I should go shopping.

Blog # 1 (Nov. 1)
Happy National Blog Posting Month!! I decided to join this a little late so I have some blogs to make up. The idea comes from THIS WEBSITE and the goal is to post one blog a day for the month of November. As you can see this is blog #1.

So someone may ask why I would even attempt this with all the crap I have to do and worry about. I just wanted to dedicate myself to something, for the lack of a better word, "creative." I think I'm in a hypomanic state which I will explain in later blogs since it IS another topic unrelated to this one haha. Hope you guys enjoy the month. There will be 4 more blogs coming today. I've got a long ways to go! Time for church....

My Left Foot

It all began one afternoon at home in 2003. I was running to the garage for some reason and I slipped on our tile and jammed my left big toe into the wall. After cursing and fighting back the tears I moved on. During the next few weeks my toenail started looking and feeling weirder. Two days before I started medical school I was cleaning my new apartment and jammed my left big toe AGAIN into the vaccuum. This time because of the previous trauma it uprooted the nail. Great. I wrapped my half attached toenail with tissue and tape, made my way to Kaiser and had it removed. Problem solved? NOPE.

Three years later my toenail was ingrown, painful and infected. I had been to the doctor twice for the problem. Both told me they didn't think it was an infection and it was just from the trauma. And neither wanted to prescribe oral antifungals for some reason. I finally got a referral to a podiatrist who suggested that we either leave it alone and continue the home remedies(soaking in water/bleach), extract the toenail again and see how it grows back, or extract the toenail and make it so it never grows back. I tried option number one for a few months but the toe just got so painful. So I scheduled a toenail extraction for my left foot on October 17.

October 7th was my cousin Grace's wedding. I was in the bridal party, as was my other cousin Novette.
We were taking piictures before the ceremony. The last set of pictures were to be taken with the golf carts. Like this:


Since the bridesmaids got there first, we had to drive the golf carts to the site. In order to get to the site however, we had to hop a sidewalk onto the street and hop the sidewalk to get back onto the green. I watched as the bride and her maid of honor successfully made it across. It didn't seem so hard.


So I took the wheel

with Novette next to me and followed their path. As we reached the green I heard cries of "No!" and "Watch out!." Before I knew it the whole golf cart was toppling over into this ditch. Miraculously, we escaped dresses unstained, hair and makeup intact except for some water on our dresses and some injuries on our---you guessed it left feet. We both had some abrasions and bruising, but Novette's foot was by far the worst. We were able to walk down the isle and party
it up.

By the next day Novette's foot had swelled up and she was unable to walk.

Fortunately, neither of us had fractured our left feet. The radiologist I was working with was nice enough to provide these lovely x-rays of my left foot.

Novette has to wear a brace to immobilize her foot in addition to keeping it elevated.

On October 17th, I had my surgery to get my left big toenail removed. It hurt like hell because the local anesthetic hadn't fully taken effect but I'm glad it's out. They gave me good aftercare instructions so hopefully my nail will grow back normal. But for now I gotta keep my left foot elevated. :)

(Who knew I could write so much about my left foot huh?)

The reason for my trip to Philadelphia was the clincial portion of my Step 2 Boards.  I arrived in the city around 7am after a red-eye flight during which I had trouble sleeping.  My old roommate Amy was going to meet me later on in the day.  We stayed at the Travelodge in Center City.

Unfortunately the hotel room wasn't ready when I got there so I had hours to kill.  Double unfortunately my phone was not working.  It was on permanent roaming which would have been fine but it wasn't connecting at all.  So I decided to wander around the city visiting the old familiar places, which I came to find out were not so familiar anymore, while also looking for a Sprint store.

First stop was my favorite streets/alleys in the city.   It sits right across the street from.....a car wash

After that I headed towards my old apartment when I passed the corner market that is now....a Quiznos? 

Then I see my old apartment which used to sit above a Cash Today store which I also used to work at.  Turns out Cash Today bought the whole building, taking out St. Georges bar downstairs and knocking the building down next to it.

That's my old room on the third floor in the middle picture.  It's good to know that some things don't change tho:

 Good old Jakes Pizza

 Chinese Food Cart!!!!  Lemon Chicken please.

 Green Village Market next to Olgas Pizza(1.25 for a slice!

 And last but not least the cart on 15th street that serves THE BEST meatball sub for 2 bucks!

I then passed by the LOVE sign and the fountain which was PINK! for breast cancer awareness. 

At around 9am I finally got to Liberty Place Shops which has a Sprint Store in it, but it was closed til 930.  So I decided to study in the rotunda and hang out with my ipod.

 (view as i look up from studying).  As I studied I decided to look through my pictures.  My camera then flashes..."error with memory card" and then "no images."  NOOOOO.  Luckily I had brought my Dell Pocket PC which had a compatible memory card.  SAVED!

The Sprint Store finally opened, but it didn't matter because my phone started working. Yay!  My spirits brightened I bopped my way to Rittenhouse Square in search of a Cosi and a perfectly heated mint mocha.

I found a Cosi, however, they ran out of mint and I burned my tongue.  Ha!

Luckily my ipod was there to keep me company.  After I finished my coffee, I shopped at the H&M I found across the street and another store I can't remember.  I ventured into the park and people watched.  I REALLY just wanted to sleep.  I called the hotel and the lady told me yet again that the room was not ready.  Sad.  But, again, my ipod was there to comfort me...in addition to the random bird.

When Amy arrived at around noon, our room still wasn't available.  We ate lunch at Reading Terminal where I ate the meatball sub I had bought earlier.  Afterwards we got green tea boba from the chinese bakery.  Our friend Wylie met up with us there.  Dinner was held at Penang's where I ate MANGO TOFU!  yum.

The next day Amy and I had Pho and bbq pork at the Vietnam Restaurant and headed to this little thing called CPE Step 2 of the boards.  That went well I think.  Nothing really much to say since they prohibit me from discussing the exam with others haha.  Afterwards we met Wylie at Westy's for Karaoke and Wings!

And even tho I only got a slight buzz, the best part was that our bill only came out to $50.50!  Four beers, 3 black russians, 2 shots of buttery nipples, 2 jagger shots, 2 captain and cokes, one vodka tonic and an order of wings!  Awesome.

The next morning I headed out at 6:30am to fly to Detroit for my cousins wedding.  It was raining and I was tired....but luckily I had my trusty ipod.  :)

(O) Wicked (Schwartz, 2003) Grade: A+

Wicked: It's the new "RENT". Well, for me anyway. I haven't seen it yet because the Orange County Performing Arts Center sucks, but that's another story. I bought the CD for my cousin on her birthday since I couldn't take her to the actual musical. I burned a copy for myself and listened to it on the way home from SD and....I fell in love with it! The music has a pop feel to it and the story line(from what I can decipher) is pretty interesting.

Here's the synopsis from the website(sorry i'm lazy):

Long before Dorothy dropped in, two other girls meet in the Land of Oz. One, born with emerald-green skin, is smart, fiery and misunderstood. The other is beautiful, ambitious and very popular. How these two unlikely friends end up as the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good Witch makes for the most spellbinding new musical in years.

WICKED, the untold story of the witches of Oz, features music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz (Godspell, Pippin, Academy Award winner for Pocahontas and The Prince of Egypt) and book by Winnie Holzman ("My So Called Life," "Once And Again" and "thirtysomething"), and is based on the best-selling novel by Gregory Maguire. With musical staging by Tony Award winner Wayne Cilento (Aida, The Who's Tommy, How To Succeed...), WICKED is directed by 2003 and 2004 Tony Award winner Joe Mantello (Assassins, Take Me Out, Frankie & Johnny in the Clair de Lune)

So....I'm gonna get that book since the musical isn't playing here in the near future.

___________________________________________________________________

On that same note, I was browsing through YouTube looking for clips of the musical, when I discovered that people have way too much time on their hands. WAY TOO MUCH TIME! Here is a video clip of the song "What is this feeling?(Loathing)" from Wicked, the musical with 80's action figures playing the characters. She-ra plays Glinda who will become the Good Witch and Evilyn plays Elpheba who becomes the Wicked Witch of the West. Enjoy!

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It's 10:00 pm on a Saturday night and it's 100 degrees outside. It hit 113 earlier. Don't you just love the IE in the summertime.

so i wanted to instill some creativity into my life that's been conveniently sucked out by medical school and decided to write a song. my brother writes really good music so i wrote the lyrics and asked him to write the music to it. he just sang it to me over the phone and it's a surreal feeling to hear words you wrote to music. you hear it differently and the meaning changes but that's what's cool about it. it can mean anything to anyone. and even though people might not get its original meaning, as far as what it meant to me, it's still keeps the bottom line, you know? it's carazy!

AWOOOHOOOO. I'm awesome. My sister messed up my computer somehow, so I had to figure out how to fix it. The computer would just restart over and over and over again. It wouldn't even go into safe mode. I called up my dad and he suggested that I get new memory.

The next day I bought some memory, a PC2100, but it was 266 MHz and my memory is a 133 MHz. I didn't think it would matter so I tried that. I started trying to reinstall Windows XP. It failed like three times. I had to switch memory, switch slots...nothing worked. Then....it just died. I couldn't turn it on. Nothing. I needed a new power supply.

The next day after that I bought a power supply at Circuit City. I got home....and....IT DIDN'T FIT. It was too big for my tower. I knew this but I didn't think it would be SUCH a pain in the ass to try and figure out how to get it in there.

I started taking apart the tower. I unscrewed every screw, took out everything that I could and I still couldn't get it in there. Then I thought, hey I better test it out if this will work and fix my problem. It worked....I could turn on my computer, but it didn't fix my problem. I had to look online for random solutions and try each one til I got the right solution. I WAS SO HAPPY!!!!!

Is that the end? NO.

I still had to figure out how to get the power supply to fit into my tower. So I took the whole thing apart. I took out the motherboard and STUFFED the power supply in there, pushed the DVD and CD player forward and it finally worked out. HALLLELUIA!!!! Here are some pictures of the fruits of my 3 day hell.

Here is the finished product with everything cramped in the small ass HP tower.

I took apart the face and was able to just put the grey part on the tower so it doesn't look that retarded. But OH what's that I see? Is that a Windows desktop?? HELL YEAH!

*Pat on the back to me*

scarier still, I just registered for classes next year and they asked me about graduation stuff like how to phonetically say my name (Ma-ree-a Kris-tee-na Lim Toe-len-tee-no), my height for my gown and previous degrees i've gotten for the commencement program. eek!

Random Thoughts

This weekend was my uncle's graduation. He went back to school after serving in the U.S. Navy since he was 18. I was so proud of him.

Being at the graduation, I came to the realization that in one year I'll be wearing that gown and going up on that stage and getting my degree. It scared the begeezus out of me. Pretty crazy that in one year I'll be done.

I started my IM rotation at Arrowhead today. It doesn't seem like it's going to be that bad. I'll be Q4(on call every fourth night, which includes staying from 630am to 12pm the next day), but I think I can handle it. My team seems competent. Wish me luck!

Well, things are definitely better this week. I decided to change the way I approached this rotation and it's actually working. I'm having a little bit more fun and I think I look more confident. As far as the other things in my life, still the same old stuff, but I'm coping better.

Here's something disturbing

http://www.westislandchronicle.com/pages/article.php?noArticle=6063

Watching: Top Model
Looking forward to: LOST in one hour!

Ok. So today I woke up and thought, "Hey, I feel good today. Maybe I'll start feeling better from now on." I get home and got some work done. My sister and I are watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and I start tearing up at the most randomest parts. And, of course, I cried at the end. When I tried to let it all out...nothing came. So freaking weird. Now I'm just blah all over again and have no desire to do anything. Way to go, Harry Potter. Geez.

P.S. I have an idea why I got all emotional but I think it's stupid that my subconcious is doing this to me. It was the last movie I watched with him. How retarded is that!?!?!

Random thought of the day...Kids at Starbucks

On numerous occasions I have been at Starbucks and have seen "kids" take over the whole place. One was in Claremont and the other one near my house. It's usually around 230 when they all get out of school. I kid you not, there is a line TO THE DOOR with 6th graders clutching their 1's eagerly like ladies at a strip club. They order these Venti Mocha Frapuccino's loaded with whipped cream. Now don't get me wrong, I love Starbucks. But I couldn't help but wonder what kind of repercussions these kids are going to experience by drinking coffee loaded with sugar and fat at such an early age. And not just starting at an early age, but they are probably drinking this EVERYDAY. It's like "the hang out" because going to a Starbucks makes them feel "grown up." Diabetes, hypertension....those are the only two I could think of, but that's pretty bad.

Maybe Starbucks really is evil....

i don't like feeling this way...

ok maybe God is just trying to freak me out then haha. i think he's up there laughing and going "SIKE!!!" is that how you spell it? i think it's "psych" but that looks weird too. whatever.

i'm home not doing a damn thing. thinking about studying, but really wanting to just veg the night away. it feels like a veg night. we'll see what happens.

God must be testing me. But I'm not really in the place to be passing any of these moral tests right now. Blah!

Spring Break

When you're a medical student on rotations, you dont' really have time to get all your errands done. Now that I'm on spring break I have the opportunity to get all these things done. Unfortunately, I didn't realize just what kind of punishment I was getting myself into.

Friday into Saturday morning: I did laundry. All night laundry. Woo...hoo. I had like 6 loads to do. I kid you not. The rest of Saturday was relaxing. I went grocery shopping and rented a couple of movies to watch with my sister.

Monday: I had my appointment with my rotations coordinator to schedule my first semester rotations for fourth year. Then I decided to get my blood drawn....ouch, but for a good cause.

Tuesday: I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning. When the dentist asked me if anything was bothering me, I told him about my molar that hurts occasionally. Big mistake. He said my filling had chipped and I would have to get it redone...that day. So I had to get the local anesthetic while he drilled my tooth like no other. FUN!

Afterwards I had to get my PPD placed so I could get it read on Friday at my doctor's appointment. Another ouchie. After all that I had two needle marks on my left hand, which seriously made it look like I was a drugie hehe.















When I got home my mom had made all this good food!! But half my mouth was numb so I coudln't really enjoy the food for fear that I might accidentally bite my cheek off or have it dribble down my chin. So sad. Not to mention I looked like a retard.

This is me......













Trying to do this....














Trying to whistle...















More of spring break later. This is all for now....

the best way to feel better about something is to admit it right? I figured out two things that are bothering me:
1. I've lost a really good friend and really doubt we could ever really be "friends" again
2. I need a creative outlet.

Being that I cried after I wrote #1...I think that's what it is. Oh breakthroughs.

it's that time again ladies and gentlemen. time for me to blog....about how pathetic i feel hehe. i think i've moved into the desperate and vulnerable state of my journey to "happiness." it's not a nice place to be. doesn't really make you feel good about yourself either. what's really wack is now i feel like i'm looking for a man to make me happy, when i should be happy with myself. but what if i'm happy about everything else except for that? maybe i'm not happy with it all. but WHY? that's the million dollar question. maybe because everything is still up in the air. even tho it seems like my career is on the up and up....there's still that stress of not knowing where you're going to end up; not knowing if you'll get into a residency; not really knowing how well you are doing in your work. blah...just a life full of insecurity.

I feel alone right now. I also feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I don't know how to get out of it. Work/school is ok. It's teaching me interpersonal skills and how to adapt quickly to new situations. But my personal life is really sad to me right now. Like my school/work life IS my personal life. My fortune today said, "Your job will not teach you about life." I wonder if that's true. There's more out there than the hospital. More to experience than that. And I see everyone else "enjoying" other things.

And it's not like I don't have anything. I have my family, I have friends and I've got a career. You would think I'd be happier. I think alot of people in my class are feeling like this. I just really want to be happy.

Ok, here's me trying to be positive.

Highlights of my day:
1. Wrapping the little newborn babies like burritos. Oh how they love to be swaddled.
2. My half brother called me "sis" today.
3. "Everwood" is back! And they played 2 new episodes.

Things to look forward to this week:
1. The weekend.
2. Lost on Wed.
3. Swaddling the babies hehe.

Excerpts from Jason Mraz's "Life is Wonderful"
Man can put together some words...
It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes a word to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished

I love finding things that I need on sale! Especially things I know I will use alot. There are these shoes that everyone uses in the medical field because they're comfy and fit to your feet. I have a pair but they're for pants/scrubs. So, I saw my coworker wearing a skirt with these cute shoes. When she mentioned they were Dansko's I bit. The link is below. Awesome price. Free shipping. Who could ask for more?

Dansko Bridget's

To relieve your road rage.

What a great weekend. I thought this weekend was going to be spent being lonely and feeling sorry for myself. But my cousin Novette from SD emailed me and said she wanted to drive up and visit! So she drove up Friday night and we watched Grey's Anatomy season 1 til we fell asleep.

Saturday morning we had an idea to go to Lake Arrowhead since it had just rained and it would be pretty with snow up there. However, my cousin didn't pack clothes for the snow, so we decided to go to Glendale to visit our Goddaughter and nephew. On the way we stopped by Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles because Novette had never eaten there. So good!

So we went to dinner with my cousins from Glendale only 2 hours after the chicken and waffles and were STUFFED. We came back to their house and played with the kids for a couple hours.

My other cousin, Lisa, from Woodland Hills texted me and said they were going to be in downtown pasadena(right next door to glendale) that night. Perfect! I left my sister in Glendale and we went out to Union Cattle Company. Had a few drinks and had a blast!

Sunday we vegged and watched Greys again. At night we ate dinner at Spaghetti Factory and then took my sis to Dave and Busters.

Great weekend. Last weekend was great too. Next weekend will be fun with 2 bridal showers and a bbq. If certain things happen within this week, next weekend will be AWESOME.

i was just thinking about friends tonight. how some people have a looot of friends and some people only hold a few close and keep acquaintences at a distance. i am of the latter group. not really sure why this is. maybe i'm just lazy and don't feel like wasting my time keeping in touch with people who are not necessarily all that close to me or who may not really care. or it could be that i have trust/insecurity issues when it comes to friendships; you can blame that on me moving around a lot and not having anything really stable. so it takes a lot for me to be close to someone. i dunno. sometimes i feel bad that i don't really have a lot of friends who are kind of in between. most are either really close to me, which are few, and the rest are mostly people i consider people i know through school etc. i'm trying to open up more but it's really hard for me.

i was browsing through friendster looking up my old csa peeps. funny what can happen in 5 years.

careerwise i feel like i'm doing ok and on the right track to being something great. in my personal life i feel like i'm doing crappy and on a track to being alone haha. everything's a tradeoff huh?

when did my life become a drawn out version of a show on the WB?

yay my mom went to watch the ballroom dancing show I got her for Christmas and she loved it. one point for me :) her bday is coming up. not sure what i'm going to do.

Hi all. I am post call meaning I was up for about 30 hours. I have since slept but still feel bleh. It was a pretty good call. I got to see 7 deliveries and helped in some of them.

It was really surreal to watch a baby being born for the first time. The first one I saw was a C-section. And this is even more surreal because you go in there as if it's a regular surgery. You make the incision and start cutting through the layers. Then all of a sudden there's this baby and it's crying. And it's like wtf just happened? I swear childbirth is a complete miracle. The placenta comes out and it looks like something someone made/designed and it's perfectly made. I got to help transfer the baby to the examining table. It was all warm and slimy. I was so scared I was going to drop it. So crazy. My first vaginal birth I saw was of an anencephalic baby. The parents had decided to carry the baby to term instead of terminate the pregnancy when they found out. It was so sad because you know this baby is going to die, and they still went ahead with it, went through the labor and pain just to see their baby and say good bye. It was extremely hard not to cry on either delivery. But after like the 4th one it wasn't so bad.

We had a really difficult(personality wise) patient last night. 21 year old couple, very little prenatal care and so her dates weren't good. she was around 32 weeks pregnant +/- 3 weeks. she had 2 previous c sections which increased her chance for uterine rupture if her uterus continued to contract. we wanted to give her a medicine to stop her contractions b/c the baby was too young and we didn't want her to rupture. b/c she had been given this medication b4 and had some side effects, she didn't want to take it. we tried to explain to her that the risks of the side effects outweighed the risk of her bleeding or having the baby's lungs be underdeveloped. she couldn't understand this for some reason and didn't want the drug. finally she agreed to it. she finally ended up leaving against medical advice(AMA) b/c she said her babysitter had to go home. um ok. i swear people are crazy.

that was my call night. oh and for a few hours i got to hang out with cute paramedic student. boo he didn't leave me his number haha. he was 22 anyway. lol

OBGYN rotation
holy crap i'm tired. and i didn't even have that long a day. got up at 6, worked til 530 watched some TV, read for about an hour or so. And I get 6 weeks of this. I'm on call on Thursday which entails me waking up at 430am and staying at the hospital until 8 or 9am the next day. And I heard you don't get to sleep, which sucks because LOST is on the night before. In the interest of my health and energy, I might just tape it and watch it on Friday, which is my day off. Kinda cool cuz then I get a 3 day weekend sort of because I'll be sleeping half the day Friday. Ok I'll try to keep y'all posted but I don't even know if I'll sign on tomorrow.

what is wrong with people? i wonder what i would do if those were my kids. could i get away with beating the shit out of them?

Ok i don't remember what day i wrote the following post but it was saved as a draft.....whoops:

Today was a blah day. I went to church and was all sad. Didn't do much today. Tried studying this morning and read through the cases I'm going to have for my clinical performance exams tomorrow. Lazed about and watched LOST. Tried studying again. Got bored and sad again. I will welcome the busy-ness of the next 3 months. I'm really lonely. :(

THIS is my post for today. So I started using myway.com which is where you can customize your website. I put word of the day on there and daily fortune and quote of the day right. It's funny cuz the fortunes and word of the day coincide with what i'm feeling worrying about that day. Like today's word was "lethargic." I'm sleepy and lazy as hell today. And the daily fortune was: "Stop searching forever- happiness is just next to you." Today I was wondering if I'll ever be happy in a relationship or when I'll find my next one. Yesterday's was funny, it said, "Someone wants your body." And I think I was feeling insecure that day. I hope I'm not getting sick. I may just hit the hay right now.

ETA of the Matthew Fox calendar I made: ~20 hours. woohoo

Tonight my mom's college classmate came to stay with us and that's one of the main reasons why I was cleaning. She was supposed to come at 4, called and said she was going to be 'late.' That's fine, but 5 rolls around....6 comes. I'm starting to get hungry. Then she calls and says that there was a misunderstanding with her ride. She thought their agreemente was that she was going to call him when she needed a ride. He thought he was supposed to meet her at 3pm at this place. He shows up at 3 and stays til 5 and drives home. This man does not own a cell phone. So I have to go pick her up in West Covina, which is fine. Except that when I get there, they're eating. Backstory to that is my mom got this food from the Filipino place and cooked some food as well, which I was uber looking forward to ALL day.

So they're eating. And being the Filipinos that they are they tell me, "Oh why don't you come and eat." FYI, don't ever try to refuse food from Filipinos. They will not stop until you eat something. So I'm thinking I have passed the pressure and I can just eat and be at peace. I got a small portion because I want to eat at home mind you. I get some fish, some pork. The lady of the house is like do you want fresh lumpia(eggroll). This is how the convo went:

Lady: Oh here try some fresh lumpia.
Me: Oh no thank you it's ok, I'll just have this.
(1 minute later)
Lady: Well do you want some of the soup?
Me: Oh I'm ok with this, thank you.
Lady: You know why don't you try the fresh lumpia. The sauce is very good, so and so made it. It's really good.
Me: No, I'm ok really
(1 minute later)
Lady:(has picked up the bowl of lumpia and is motioning to me) Here, do you want some??
Me: No no, it's ok I don't want any.

You get the point. I think she may have asked one more time and then gave up. On that same token, my sister came with me and I didn't want to make her a plate and feed her cuz that would have prolonged the stay. So I said she had just eaten recently and I would feed her at home. I think they tried to give her food or get me to get her food like 4 times. Why does this happen with Filipinos? Why can't they just be satisfied with a "No thank you." And why do they always make you feel guilty/wrong for not taking their damn food. C'MON! I want to eat this rice, fish and pork and NOT the fresh lumpia. Give it a rest already!

I drove home and ate my mom's cooking too :) I'm a pig, but I didn't know what else to do. If I had known how much badgering I would have gotten about my sister and the lumpia, I might as well have said I didn't want to eat.

OK SEE it happened again. The lady that's staying with us asked me 30 min ago if I was going to sleep...at 10 minute increments she asks or says that we should go to bed cuz it's late. It's funny my sister just gave her this look like "yeah ok whatever." HAHA!

I am a cleaning machine!!! I finally finished vaccuuming the whole house. And when I say "the whole house" I mean everything. The curtains, all the cobwebs and dead ants and crap. I'm so proud of myself. The house is clean....except my room haha as always. I love love love our new vaccum haha. I am really starting to sound like Monica on Friends. Ok time for me to shower cuz I feel nasty from all the dust flying about.

Peace out yo!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!...well 36 more minutes and it will be for me. I am sitting at home, on the computer blogging. I'm spending a nice and quiet new years at home. It doesn't feel as lame as I thought it would be. For the last 30 minutes of 2005 I am going to put the clean sheets on the bed in the guest room. I'm such a party animal!!!

so i've had an ok couple of days. been busy working on the house, shopping, etc etc. i bought alot actually:
1. vacuum cleaner $60, 2 bras $30, GC ended up paying only $20 bucks
2. hp printer(on backorder boooo): $30 after rebate
3. liz claiborne purse at zappos.com: $60 with $20 coupon only $40
4. underwear 5/$25, tube top $15, blouse $19 at victorias secret: ~$75 after GC $5!
5. long sleeve T at target $9

after all that i only ended up spending around 100 for all of that. awesome.

i was cleaning out my room. and why oh why do i always have to get nostalgic when i do that. usually i welcome the nostalgia, but today it just made me sad. i've been missing him lately; not because i want to get back together with him, but because i can't. does that make any sense? maybe someday it could happen, but there are no guarantees in life, and who knows if the people we become will want to have a relationship with each other. there are people getting married all around me. i know of 5 couples that are going to get married within the next two years. not that i'm saying i want to get married right now. it's just...shouldn't i at least be close? those are just the random thoughts that go through my head while i sift through all my junk.

wee! just joined netflix. these next 2 weeks are gonna be great! yeah i'm lame but i don't care what you think!

PICTURES!

How cute is my Goddaughter? She's almost 3 years old and can work a room with her cuteness.

This is her 8 month old brother, equally as cute but a little more subdued. His interests include chewing on paper, leather and anything he can get his hands on.

Novette, Karissa and I on Christmas Eve.

Mi familia: Mom, Matess and I

yeah it's 3am. yeah i'm still up. yeah i just got home. no idea why i'm online, but i am. i think it was the coffee.

anyway, i drove SO MUCH today. it was the equivalent of driving to san diego and back. how fun is that? i survived, and so did my precious car. poor thing.

now i am just rambling. these are things i would tell a bf if i had one. this is probably why i don't have a bf b/c this is the random shit i would talk about when i called him to say good night. lol

family time was good tonight. reminisced with my cousins. hung out. ate. ok seriously this is sad rambling so i'm gonna stop typing. OH cool thing tonight. I was driving home and looking at the moon...and then I hit this fog and the moon disappeared. I dunno, I never witnessed that before and I don't know why I think it's so cool now but it was. Ok i'm gonna stop seriously....

Happy Christmas Eve Eve! I'm FINALLY done with everything Christmas. Gifts are wrapped and ready to be doled out. It sux no one is online cuz they've all gone home for Christmas hehe. I have a lot of cleaning anyway....and laundry. Procrastinating is bad people.

So, the red head came and dropped by gifts that his mom got me and a ticket to the Kings game on Monday! I finally get to wear MY OWN King's Jersey to the game! yay. I kinda felt bad because I didn't get his family ANYTHING and his mom got me TONS of stuff: 2 knit blouses, 2 pairs of gloves, a scarf, fuzzy socks, 2 lip gloss key chains, and a Victoria's Secret gift card. It was insane! Oh and the Kings ticket. And all I got them was an e-card. Not even a REAL card, an e-card. But but we're broken up. I'm not SUPPOSED to get them anything. I'm trying to set boundaries. I mean old Christina would have TOTALLY gotten them something. But at this point I really can't do that for various reasons you know?

I'm excited for tomorrow. In the morning we're gonna go see my cousin in Glendale and her kids. And then I get to play with them alll day until my aunt's party in Granada Hills. :) Christmas Day will be spent in Glendale at my OTHER aunt's house.

Merry Christmas to all!

I'm so proud of myself hehe. Humor me while I brag about my handyman skillz.

SO, my mom added more lights on the house this past weekend. But, she managed to "break" the main lights I put up. They just wouldn't light. She transferred the lights on the bushes(which she added) to another outlet, and the lights on the house STILL wouldn't light. Mind you I invested a lot of time and effort in buying the new lights and putting them up. So I'll be damned if I invested all that and have it not be lit on Christmas.

I first tested the outlet the lights were plugged into. That worked. So that meant (thank God) that I didn't have to go through each lightbulb to see if that was the defective lightbulb. In the extra lightbult bag that came with the light were fuses. I was like hmm they have fuses?? So instead of trying to figure out how to open the plug which was attached to the house already, I did it with some lights we had in the garage. It was easy enough and I replaced the fuse that was blown and WOOPIE...there was light! I'm awesome.

so i saw this girl today that i hadn't seen in a long time. and she gained so much weight! totally noticeable. it totally weirded me out. i mean it cant' be that much weight but enough to be obvious u know? i wonder if that will ever happen to me.

i think i have stomach issues. i've been having tummy aches. it could be that i eat too much or don't drink enough. ohhhh well.

p.s. i love my car

i think i'm coming down from my high with the new car. felt kind of sad today. starting missing the boy for some reason. but then i had this dream about him that made me mad, so now i still miss the boy but remember why i shouldn't be with him. oh baby steps.

Here's some pictures of my new car :) I named her Hedwig...yeah yeah yeah i know she's black, but thats' her name ok?

What a blog-worthy day!! :) Today is a happy albeit stressful day.

I BOUGHT MY CAR! FINALLY! I finally have a Civic to call my own for the New Year. I'm very proud of myself because I went to the dealership all by my lonesome and did pretty good at talking down the price of the car and the price of the extended warranty. I walked away feeling like I got a good deal...I hope I didn't get jipped hehe. Then I didn't need a cosigner for my financing so the car is allll mine.

How cool is my car? The CD player plays MP3s, there's this thing on my radio where if you press this button "a. select" it will program your radio stations to the stations that have the best reception. So if you're driving through Utah, you can just press that button and get radio stations instead of browsing through the whole thing. Plus, my car is just so pretty. :) So very pretty.

Then I went to church with my mom for Simbang Gabi(Midnight Mass) which is a tradition in the Philippines...but the mass was actually at 730. So I was starving by this time cuz I skipped dinner(I was at the dealer from 230-630). And to my surprise THEY HAD FREE FOOD! I didn't overeat either so that was another plus. They had powdered brownies. YUM. And now I'm home. I just cleaned the car, cuz I had all my crap from the Accord thrown where-ever in there.

So yay, that was my day!

Hallelujiah!! My mom FINALLY started cleaning. It's amazing how much work she got done in the last couple of days. Good thing too cuz my friend is going to be staying with us as of january.

Today I got a facial in Alhambra....which was totally ruined by the 2 hours of traffic I had to sit through to get home. Sigh. It was fun while it lasted.

Looking forward to this weekend. It's my friend Steph's bday and we're going to Rock Bottom then whatever bar calls our way.

I'm almost done with Christmas shopping for the "kids" of the family. 3 more I have to figure out.

Me and one of the best Rieslings I've ever tasted! Yum.

This is the car I'm getting, hopefully sometime this week!!

ok ok. so i'll post something that's not depressing.

this weekend was my friend sheila's holiday cocktail party. it was cool. i came early and we got our makeup done. i probably spent too much money on the makeup but i never had it done before and it made me feel good. :) then we picked up the food from whole foods. she got these mozzarella, basil and tomato crestini thing...YUMMMMMM.

my dress was very "ahem" low cut and it's funny to see how guys react to this. i got a lot of "thank you's". i mean if some guy was wearing his shirt open or his ass out, i don't think i'd say thank you. guys are weird.

my friend's ex bf bought her this riesling: johann falkenburg...it was soo good. better than chataeu st. michelle. yum. but i can't find anywhere to buy it. i had like 3 glasses of that. i think i could have finished the whole magnum bottle. then we played checkers w/ shots of wine. the wine was wack. *shiver*

we slept in until 1030 the next day and ate brunch at the long beach museum of art. good times.

then i got in a stupid fight with my mom which spiraled me into a depressed mood for the rest of the day. yay.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

anyone ever feel like quitting life. noooo not TAKING their life...but just quitting. just restarting it all over and starting new. wish i could just restart sometimes. i wonder if i'd be happier. i guess my WHOLE life isn't crap. i just feel like i screwed up some aspects of it and well, i don't like screwing up. can i just crumple up the piece of paper and start drawing a new picture? i just feel like i could have done things differently. and i know it's not all my fault b/c he could have done things differently too. whatever i just don't feel like dealing with feelings right now...so i'll continue to be numb.

p.s. this is me just venting, don't go feeling sad or sorry for me. i'll be fine

I love the show Everwood on, yes, the WB. And not because it super realistic, but because it's so completely idealistic, romantic, tragic, UNrealistic and filled with angst of all kinds. I like rooting for all the characters and all the crap that goes wrong in their lives. Gives me a warm fuzzy feeling which I'm in dire need of these days. Just thought I'd share.

Other thoughts: 1. I want to watch Memoirs of a Geisha 2. Anyone hear about "Brokeback Mountain" with Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal? Read an article on it written by a gay film critic I think, it was "the straight man's guide to brokeback mountain." I can't find the article again, but it was funny 3. I hate that LOST is on hiatus for 6 weeks!

i feel like my personal life is on a downward spiral. oh i'm sure i'm being overdramatic and pessimistic but i don't care. thank goodness i like what i do for a living and find it fulfilling.

things i'm bitching about
1. my internet is fucked up again
2. i'm alone...can't be with the one that i love because we don't work/make each other happy...not ready to find someone else...which doesn't really help my loneliness does it?
3. don't feel really good about myself...just personally...don't really know who i am at this point....trying to find out, but it will take a while. i disappoint myself constantly b/c i bottle things up inside and then i blow up for no reason at all. i wish i was braver.
4. i'm impatient and only time can help me...how ironic is that?
5. i am not happy with my home life. my mother is irritating the shit out of me...i love her cuz she's my mom, but she's a child. and her scolding me for things she doesn't even do makes me want to scream. AND i know she won't/can't change because this is who she is. it's just a little harder to accept it if it's staring you in the face ALL THE TIME.
6. i hate not having an income. i feel useless/hopeless because i can't fix any of my financial problems.
7. i constantly feel stupid at work...but this isn't so bad b/c i'm only a 3rd year med student so i have about the rest of my life left to feel stupid because.....doctors are 'life long learners'
8. wow i've run out of things to bitch about......

things i'm thankful for/looking forward to
1. i think i actually picked the right profession and i'm happy about that. just have to figure out a specialty
2. my friends...they know who they are. thanks for all the support
3. my cousin Novette...always there for me...can always cheer me up somehow.
4. my sister...she can be a pain but she give me the hugs i need
5. and as much as i bitch about her, my mom...and dad. i'm thankful i have them and they support me.
6. chronicles of narnia....and i just found out they made a new version of charlotte's web which comes out in 2006
7. getting a new car.....

i've watched a whole season's worth of six feet under in like 4 days. maybe it's comforting to me to watch fictional characters' f*ed up lives to make my life seem ok. not that my life is even that bad. i just feel like i'm just here. not happy, not sad. just here. it's really a strange feeling. i'm gonna try to write in this more. we'll see how that goes. :)

well it's been a few months since i've blogged. lately i've been feeling a bit depressed and feeling like my life is in chaos, but today i realized nothing is going to change if i don't change it. so i am going to try to get my credit in check. my credit score is actually not that bad, but i would like to get rid of my credit debt and keep it off. all that is intertwined with my relationship with my mom. it's hard to communicate with her because most of the time she takes it the wrong way. we use my credit cards for alot of our purchases which isn't good cuz then they get maxed out and my credit score goes down. i would someday like to be able to buy a house and a good car, but i need good credit to do so. so i gotta keep that in check.

as far as my mom goes, since i've moved back we've had a volatile relationship. one day we will be great and in a second we'll be yelling at each other, or i'll be mad/frustrated at something inconsiderate she's done. i kinda wanna have a talk with her to minimize all that, but i'm apprehensive because i don't really know what will become of it. what i really want to tell her is to get off her ass, manage her time well(because she watches way too much tv) and just be considerate. she knows i'm pressed for time and yet she schedules or shall i say doesn't schedule things accordingly like my time isn't important. come to think of it, i don't think i'll have that discussion with her. i can already see it going bad. now, you all might think that i'm just being pessimistic and chickening out, but i'd like to let you all know that i have tried communicating with her on numerous occasions. you can't have an adult conversation with this woman. seriously. i have to find the right time to bring it up. we'll see what happens.

ok after i vented, i see that my life really isn't in chaos, i just feel overwhelmed at times. i'm super anal and want everything to be perfect. and life isn't perfect. the sooner i understand that, the sooner i'll be able to handle life.

so i'm at coffee bean killing time before i meet my friend christie at souplantation and i brought my computer so i could do work. there's a wireless connection here but i couldn't use it. when i open my IE it's an SBC home page type deal and it says you could pay 4 bucks for 2 hours of connection. so i paid and woohoo, then there was a connection. so i think i'll be hanging out here :) i'm gonna go watch willy wonka in 15 minutes at the theater next door...all by myself.

today i had 4 patients and i actually got to eat lunch even tho dr. lai came early. i think i'm getting faster woohoo. i'm down to 2 patients...will probably get a new one tomorrow. woohoo.

things i'm looking forward to:
1. moving back home and actually have a HOME...say goodbye to my nomad days
2. getting DSL at my house...15 bucks a month for 1.5 Mbps....if that sux then 25 bucks for 3Mbps
3. getting netflix...10 bucks for unlimitted DVDs a month...only get to keep one at a time, but that's totally fiine with me.
4. disneyland this weekend
5. tom petty next weekend
6. hawaii in september
7. vegas in september
8. getting my car fixed someday

things i'm not looking forward to:
1. surgery at arrowhead
2. having to move to another rotation and get used to their ways there.
3. moving back home and actually having to organize all my crap...

so i decided to blog a lil blurb of random thoughts

my rotation is going well. it's a lot of busy work. not really learning alot about medicine per se but i'm learning about the runnings of a hospital and how much work it is to manage patients. hopefully i'm getting better at it rather than just staying where i am.

peter jennings died, sad huh? so sudden.

i feel busy, i did a lot today. worked straight from 9-330 no breaks no lunch. went and got dinner for my cousins...came home and ate...and i've been on the computer for a few hours running errands and what not. now it's time for a shower so i don't have to take one tomorrow. i'm gonna try to go in at 8 tomorrow b/c we have 2 lectures....and we start rounding at 1230...but have to be done w/ patients at 11 cuz our lecture starts at 11.

i'm actually going to starbucks to study for a couple of hours cuz i want to. how crazy is that. lol

You scored as . Ron Weasley 70% Hermione Granger 70% Remus Lupin 65% Albus Dumbledore 60% Severus Snape 60% Draco Malfoy 55% Ginny Weasley 50% Harry Potter 45% Sirius Black 35% Lord Voldemort 20% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

ahh. for the past two nights all i've done is veg. i haven't done it in so long. i just sat and watched tv for HOURS. :) But right now i'm going to read the 2 articles Dr. Lai gave us so I can just get it out of the way.

listening to: Gwen Stefani-Cool

Comlex scores

woohoo I passed again!

Score: 497
Percent: 79%

it's really weird that i did better on this than the usmle. it's out of 800 points and you need 400 to pass. yay for me! I'm finally officially a 3rd year.

HELL FREAKIN YEAH!!!!

I passed!! I passed!! I seriously feel like I got into med school all over again. This is a great feeling and I haven't felt this way in so long! It's refreshing.

The USMLE is the boards all M.D.'s have to take. Being a D.O. and passing the USMLE makes you more competitive because they can measure you against M.D.'s. I don't HAVE to pass these boards, but it is to my benefit if I do.

Passing is usually a score of 182...(I can't remember out of how much) and a percentage of 75%.

My score: 207
Percent: 84%

I called my mom and told her to check the mail. She said she would call me back with my score. When she called she asked, "What's passing?" and I told her 182. And she's like you got an 84. And i'm like um...are you sure it's not a 184?? And she was like no it's an 84. And I'm like is it the percent? and she's like yes 84% whew!! then she told me my score.

Rotation: OMM
Other Western Students: Cherrie Gilleon, Ila Pourashem(sp?), Cindy Chen
Preceptor: Dr. Joseph Watson aka the red head hippie
Schedule:
M 12-6(i got out at 715 today)
Tues and Thurs 9-5(most likely 6)
Wed off
Friday 9-2

Pros: It's in Del Mar, so nice weather and you can see the ocean from the office. I get Wed off. I don't have to go in until 12 on Monday.

Cons: I GOT OUT AT 715 TODAY!!! grrrr
My preceptor is a freakin hippie--yep, like those guys who came to lecture us during psych--yep, he had a book of those weird psychadelic pictures. He's preachy about the government/politics, his philosophy about the profession(very anti-pharmaceuticals, pro-nutrition) etc etc. so not only does he TALK alot...I don't know what he's talking about 80% of the time!!! And not cuz I zone out which is like 70% of the time, but even when i pay attention!! He was talking about how the distance btwn our teeth is the same as the distance between here to the moon, if you think about it in atomic energy??? i don't know.

There isn't very much structure. We were sitting there not really knowing what to do. Every now and then he would be like go upstairs and see the patient there. No guidance, just go. So I didn't really LEARN anything, I just pretty much went with what I knew and that was enough. I didn't learn how to document really--his charting is retarded; not at all like how they have charts at the OMM clinic. So I would just improvise.

Most interesting thing of the day: Dr. Crazy was working on this lady(first patient--we were observing) and he started at her feet. I noticed she would jerk her head randomly and so i assumed she had some weird tick or something. Then later he mentioned something about, "See how she's reacting to the treatment." And then when he got to her head, she started spontaneously moving her head in weird places and then it wasn't just her head it was her torso and arms, while Dr. Crazy just followed her into whatever position she was going into. SO FREAKING WEIRD! It was like watching one of those evangelical shows on TV where the priest is ridding the person of the devil. I'd never seen anything liike it in my life. And I didn't wanna ASK him cuz then he would have gone off on one of his rants about energy and the spirit.

FUCK!!! Two and a half weeks left until my first set of board exams(COMLEX). I have been diligently studying for boards for the last few weeks. So can someone explain to me why I'm getting lower scores on my qbank practice questions?? I got the LOWEST score I ever today. I think my brain is fried. it's just so disheartening to do worse after you've been trying so hard. TWO AND A HALF WEEKS!!!!

I took this Specialty Aptitude test to see what specialty fits my personality. is that bad that the specialty i want to go into is at the bottom of the list??

Rank Specialty Score
1 dermatology 46
2 physical med & rehabilitation 44
3 pediatrics 44
4 radiology 43
5 occupational med 43
6 rheumatology 43
7 hematology 43
8 general internal med 42
9 anesthesiology 42
10 ophthalmology 41
11 obstetrics/gynecology 41
12 otolaryngology 40
13 radiation oncology 40
14 gastroenterology 40
15 endocrinology 39
16 pulmonology 39
17 nephrology 39
18 med oncology 39
19 colon & rectal surgery 39
20 pathology 39
21 general surgery 39
22 plastic surgery 39
23 psychiatry 38
24 urology 38
25 orthopaedic surgery 38
26 nuclear med 38
27 neurology 38
28 emergency med 38
29 infectious disease 38
30 cardiology 37
31 allergy & immunology 37
32 neurosurgery 37
33 thoracic surgery 37
34 preventive med 36
35 aerospace med 36
36 family practice 34

So i MIGHT still be able to rotate through OMM in Hawaii. How awesome would that be?! One month in Hawaii with my dad and brothers. It would be like a pseudo va-k with free lodging. I'd have to work 6/7 days of the week, but then I heard you get out early 2 of the days. My brother could TOTALLY teach me how to surf--or I could take lessons. I could get nice and tan. woohoo.

I have 2, count em 2 exams tomorrow and somehow I'm not stressing it for shit. Lord knows why. I need to do well. I'm gonna get something to eat right now, then go to church, then spend the rest of the afternoon studying. Gotta love it.

today i had montclair clinic. it was a women's clinic tonight and i did my first "real" pap smear. i felt bad cuz i couldn't really find the cervix. and then when i was taking the specimen she started bleeding. poor thing. I'M SORRY i'm inexperienced! then my dumbass forgot to finish up with the patient so she was waiting in the room forever. i felt so bad. otherwise it was a cool night. the resident and the nurse said my notes were good :)

i had a first year following me. i hate it cuz i'm ok looking like a dumbass to the patient, but someone shadowing me vaguely knows what's going on. so there's all this pressure to know stuff cuz you're the 2nd year and should know this shit cuz you're about to go on rotations. bleh. i guess i just have to get used to looking like a dumbass cuz starting june 27th that's all i'll ever be looking like. wish me luck.

And you thought you could fold a shirt.

How awesome is that?! I tried it and it works! i will fold like that from now on. so fast!

so i've once again reverted to my "depressed state". what is that you may ask? well it's a little better than before. i am not crying incessantly, but i am playing that damned spider game again instead of studying. i also can't get up in the morning. i would love to just stay in bed until everything is better again. but nooo nothing will get better if i stay in bed. it will only get worse because i will fail in school and have wasted like 150 grand on it. so not only will i be a depressed fool, i will be a failure haha.

i know it's a waste but i just keep sitting here wishing for things that aren't at all possible. i keep thinking of ways to make it better. i keep wondering when all of this will finally run its course and things will be "normal" again for me; instead of this weird day to day life i lead that is only bearable by distractions such as studying. so basically, if i can master getting my ass up in the morning, find a way to never be in my apartment alone unless i'm eating or watching tv, and figure out how to fall asleep once i hit the bed, then i can be "ok." hmm wonder if that's healthy. prolly not.

i didn't really accomplish my goals for the day. i need to get to bed soon because i'm trying to get up at 7am tomorrow. but i'm not sleepy. so i'll prolly end up crying myself to sleep again. WOOHOO can't wait. tomorrow should be a busy tiring day. class from 8-5, then doing micro for an undisclosed amount of time. then american idol and house. then prolly do a qbank. good night all.

i'm obsessed with the show Lost....must buy DVD in July when it supposedly comes out. I think i would be a more obsessed fan if I wasn't so lazy to look things up. Sucks that there's only like one person I know that watches the show. I don't think anyone gets my obsession....oh well, it keeps me sane anyway. that's what tv's for right?

I can't believe it's Thursday. I didn't work as hard as I did last week, but then again I don't have a test on Monday. I feel like I've been working my ass off, and yet I'm sure there are people out there working twice as hard as I am. I just don't wanna burn out. I think I'm going at a reasonable pace.

I got my GI grade today. I did ok, passed and above the mean. I'm ok with that. I'm freaking tired! I actually went to my 8am class this morning cuz it was Dr. Yang. She's the best.

Oh and I got more spots filled on my rotations schedule. I'm doing OBGYN at Arrowhead and Peds at Citrus Valley. I dunno if I posted the rest of my schedule, but I'll post the finalized one cuz they're still trying to figure shit out, and hopefully I can trade my farther rotations.

I think I'm going to sleep early tonight. I have to take a shower tho...and that might end up waking me up. Wouldn't that just be great. Or I could just go to sleep now and see what time I wake up tomorrow.

I feel like there's such a hole in my life right now. I'm doing everything I need to be doing in my life, and yet I still feel incomplete.

listening to: Jason Mraz-Absolutely Zero

Finally reinstalled Hello. Here is a pic of me and my sibs: Erwin(15), Andrew(9), Matess(23) and Me(25--i'm old yes i know). 

Random Occurence of the Day
So I stayed in Fontana last night because I was too lazy to drive back to my apartment, plus I think my sister wanted me to stay home. This morning I had an exam and I didn't really have time to fill up my gas tank. The light had just turned on which means I had 30 more miles to go before I ran out of gas. So I get to school fine. But I forgot to fill up after school and when I went to my friend Sheila's house. So after we watched Desperate Housewives and Eurotrip, I went to my car. But...IT WOULDLN'T START! I was like crap, I think I'm out of gas.

Sheila drove me to the gas station and I had to buy one of those little tank thingies for gas. There were some British tourists there that were having problems with their pump. So Sheila and I tried to help them, but we couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then I couldn't figure out how to fill the tank that I bought. The attendant ended up coming out and helping the both of us.

We drove back to Sheila's and assembled the nozzle for the tank. BUT it started leaking gas when I tried to put it in the hole. It kept leaking gas, so Sheila suggested that we just pour the gas straight from the tank into the nozzle...without using the pump thing. And it worked! Took a while but it worked!

It must have looked really funny with two filipino girls trying to figure out how to put gas into a car.

Random occurence of the day: My cousin's fiance IMed me and told me that my cousin talked to Kyle b/c he had a job for him...and Kyle told my cousin to tell me that he missed me. I just thought that was really random and weird of him. Good thing my cousin didn't really think so. Anyway, I was almost happy to hear that. I guess hearing anything about him would elicit that reaction.

Quote of the Day
Mr. Incredible/Bob Par: Well, what are you waiting for?
Little boy: I dunno, something amazing I guess..
Mr. Incredible/Bob Par: Me too kid.

And I continue to wait...SOMEthing's bound to happen. In the meantime I'll just float through my life getting to where I need to be, doing the things I need to do.

Today I met my half brothers for the first time. I will post a picture once I can figure that out cuz I think I deleted "Hello" from my computer. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it was gonna be. My brothers seem pretty cool. Erwin is 15 and Andrew is 9. Erwin reminds me so much of my cousin Ben: loves surfing and plays the guitar. Andrew looks a lot like me when I was a kid and he talks ALOT(i think i was like that when i was young too). They seemed to enjoy their time here in CA and by enjoy I mean LOVE.

Right now I'm "finishing up" studying for my test tomorrow. I hope I do ok.

HEY! i just looked at my "goals for the week" and i FINALLY accomplished one. good job me. :)

dude it's freakin 230 already. i been playing that stupid spider solitaire game. i didn't even win. i dunno...just don't wanna go to bed. cheers to my insomnia....

For the past couple of Fridays, my friend Steph and I have been going to Borders in Montclair to study. The first time we went, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that they have live music there from 8-10 every Friday. Well, first we were annoyed because we were studying, but the band turned out to be pretty decent and good study music. They were called Reserved 16. Steph ended up buying a CD since it was only 8 bucks. We still can't figure out who they sound like...probably never will. This week this asian lady...we couldn't figure out her name and didn't bother to ask but she played the piano and guitar; first name was Korrene I think? She was also good. The music was good, but the lyrics were kinda eh to me.

Speaking of non-mainstream random music. My cousin introduced me to this Filipino band called Julie Plug. They sound exactly like Six Pence None the Richer...it's creepy. But they've got a slightly different sound. A little on the "harder" side...for lack of a better word cuz they're not exactly HARD. It's a nice break from some of the crap that's out there today.

I have been having phases of random tastes in music. The last few months I was into some indie rock stuff. Before that I was into country. I can't remember past that. Now I'm into soft, mellow, Jason Mraz-y music. You know...good study music.

Speaking of studying. I have been studying my ASS off this past week.
Monday: 3 hours on my ECM assignment---such boring, tedious busy work.
Tuesday: studied at the library from 7-1030.
Wednesday: went to school early and studied from 930-11, then studied from 5-7
Thurs: library from 630-10
Friday: school studying from 1-5; Borders studying from 7-10

INSANE!!!! I've never studied this much ever. I have to do this until June haha. Hope I can keep it going.

Random news that may not be important to you but is to me:
1. I scored a 74% on qbank yesterday! (but today i scored 50% haha)
2. there's another girl who's pregnant in my class now(my friend katie is the other one)
3. I downloaded the Sound of Music soundtrack!
4. Lost was awesome on Wed.

ahh an afternoon off. but i don't want to study.

my dad and his family are in CA for the week. my sister matess is va-k-ing with them. i talked to them last night and it sounded like she was having a lot of fun at disneyland. i'm glad, cuz she doesn't usually do much during the week. sux cuz i have school, i can't go with them.

so this week i'm trying to get my studying done. i did really well last night. i went to the library from 7-1030 and then this morning i studied boards stuff from 930-11. and once i get out of my afternoon funk i will study until lost and american dreams start. i can't tape both cuz they are both on at 8--too bad i don't have tivo.

i also started working out this week cuz i'm finally getting better and i'm not coughing as much. i bought the CORE workout ball thingie and videos. i worked out yesterday and i'm so sore today. my flank region, my ass, my hamstrings and pecs and arms. i did a light workout today. more of stretching. i hope i'm not too sore again tomorrow. haha i decided to start working out again b/c when i was sick, the constant coughing tightened up my stomach--so i'm trying to take advantage of that and keep my stomach tight haha. but right now i want to take a nap...
listening to: jason mraz-on love, in sadness

MFCKR!!! i blogged ALLLLLLLL this stuff about my week. And it got erased. I quit. Maybe some other time. SUCK!!! it took me like 10 minutes to write all that crap. aklsd;fjaksldfjsdlkafds

I GOT BANGS! the eyebrow waxing and the new haircut definitely put me in a better mood. next mission: drinks and sushi!

this fucking sux. :( i don't want to be sad anymore!!!! i can't call him, email, IM, ANYTHING. i hate not knowing him. stupid crap dsafjklasjfklsfrielajfkfdsad. this is wack.

so i'm blogging again. why may you ask? well, i'm single now and have oodlees and oodles of time to think about life---which i should actually spend STUDYING FOR BOARDS, but hey, i'm on spring break and i'm gonna relax dammit!(well, just until tuesday)

i'm in san diego right now staying at my cousin's house. it's nice to get away, even though i'm not doing anything very different from what i do at home. if you think about it, it's really like a 2nd home to me. we went to go watch hitch tonight. cute cute movie...kinda gives you hope---for those of us who are hopeless.

i just noticed that i don't follow grammar rules. i wonder how many people that bugs. hehe. fragment! oh no! :D

ahh finally something to blog about. 4 things actually.
1. went to see the body worlds exhibit at the calif. science center on tuesday. AWESOME. and not just from like someone who would naturally be interested in that kind of stuff. it was very educational and the dissections/specimens were INSANE. my personal favorites were the severe scoliosis and the pregnant woman.
2. later that night, i finally went to the indie night at the in cahoots club in riverside. kyle's been raving about it for months now and i could never go b/c it's a tuesday night and i always had school the next day. anyway, i thought it was pretty cool/interesting. the main reason i wanted to go was to see the ppl dance. the majority of the ppl weren't dancing all that different from how I'd dance. but they do this dance where you like step and flail your arms about...kyle thinks it's cool in it's own weird way, but...i dunno i can't do it haha. the vibe was totally chill; only a select few low self esteem girls trying to get attention by showing their bras. but bottom line was that it was just a place to have fun. i didn't get the huge feeling that everyone was there to hook up. the music was ok. i danced to a few songs. OH and the cool thing is it's $1 well drinks ALL NIGHT. i didn't drink that much cuz i was driving but you can order like 10 drinks at a time. lol.
3. i tried roscoe's chicken and waffles for the first time ever. we went to the hollywood one last night before watching les miserables at the pantages. it was SO SO good. i got the chicken w/ gravy and onions and 2 waffles. yum yum yum. service was fast, food was good. i give it an A.
4. watched les miserables FINALLY and i loved it. not as good as RENT but it was really good. the cast was very talented, especially the guy that played jean valjean. great night.
anyway, hope everyone is having a great holiday. the mountains are all green now after the rain. love it.
happy new year!

i think i'm addicted to TV. i love it. hehe. so tonight's NYPD blue was really good. i never really watched the show before this season, but it's really good. another show that deserves mentioning is desperate housewives. so good. it's different and quirky. Everwood and ER top off the list of shows i'm loving this season. The ones that I watch that are just "eh" are Joey, the Apprentice, Smallville, Scrubs.
I hate reality shows....and yet why are they so addictive? It's really sad that NBC has only 3 sitcoms on their lineup(joey, WG, scrubs). They have like 3 Law and Orders, and from what I hear are adding another one!! L and O is good, but c'mon! I would to get into "Lost", but it's just too much to watch for me. I will watch the DVD when it comes out. And I'm still waiting for the end of season 6 for Sex and the City.
Do you see how this is problematic for a med student? Damn TV!! I'm just lucky I don't have cable...could you imagine?

i got addicted to ANOTHER show...possibly 2 shows(but i doubt it). I watched the end of Kevin Hill and it was cute, but i doubt i'll watch it. then i watched the encore presentation of the pilot for Desparate Housewives. it was really good. it's just quirky and you kind of just laugh at their lives; but at the same time it's sad cuz none of them are happy. OH and there are 2 pieces of eye candy in there...the lawn boy and the neighbor guy. yum. there's also a mystery tied into the whole story. it starts out with one of their friends killing herself...and the dead friend narrates the show. so i think as the season goes, they are gonna try to piece together why she killed herself. there's something in their backyard, in the pool. the day that the lady killed herself she got a letter saying "i kno what you did. i think it's horrible. i'm gonna tell." and it's interesting that 2 of the actresses who played characters in everwood(as the main dr.'s dead wife--who by the way is the dead friend in this show, which is weird and the main dr's love interest who is HIV+) are in this show. and the writing style is similar(everwood used to have a narration for each show too) and it doesn't take itself too seriously. :)

the BAD thing about that is it's on sundays---before my tests!!! and i also watch american dreams now too. i'll just have to tape them.

so that's my life right now cuz i hate school and so i escape into my boob tube.

ahh wow haven't blogged in a long time. i just thought today was a blog-worthy day. This weekend has been great so far. It started off on thursday night b/c I decided to ditch Friday's classes.

Thursday-took a nice long nap, headed over to sheila's to watch the debate and Joey and W and G. Ate some burger king, popcorn, and had some wine. Then Kyle came over and spent the night. Nice and relaxing.

Friday-Woke up and drove Kyle home so he could work out. I vegged in front of CABLE tV for about an hour and watched the end of Matrix Revolutions/Reloaded? whichever one is the 2nd one. Then we went to the mall to get my car alarm fixed. We ate at Sbarro---which was NOT worth the 16 bucks Kyle paid for 3 slices of pizza, a salad and 2 drinks. boo. The pizza was cold and bleh! Then we stuck it to the man by movie hopping--2 for 1 deal haha. We watched Collateral(8) and Shaun of the Dead(7). Awesome acting by the main characters. Then we ate dinner at Hooters. The wings were YUM...altho I dunno, the hooters girls were a little unsettling. I felt the "feminist" in me cringe....and that's a pretty small feminist. Afterwards we met up with some people at Deer Creek Lanes for some Karaoke. Only sucky people were there, so I actually got up and sang! I sang "when you say nothing at all" by alison krauss(love her). Then I went home and slept.

Saturday-Today, my family from SD and from Glendale came to visit and we ATE AND ATE AND ATE. My God-daughter is SO FRIGGIN CUTE. She can say "ninang" now, which is Godmother in Tagalog...and so she calls my cousin, Novette and I, "ninang." I will try to post a pic of her later on in the week. After everyone left, I went with Kyle to his friend's daughters Christening party. I got to eat some Dippin' Dots! and played poker. I could have won 50 bucks tonight! I was in the top 2 both rounds, but I choked. Boo!!!!! So close. I can get up to the top, just can't finish it off. It's ok. I'm still learning how to play, and it's only gonna get better. :)

Sunday-Tomorrow will be spent RELAXING and then I might go to Temple Bar for my friend's fundraiser.

Song of the moment: Sunday Morning-Maroon 5

which one are you? :P

FINALLY!
Pictures from Europe

finally something blog worthy....i just found out that ralph fiennes is going to play lord voldemort in the 4th harry potter movie. woohoo! good casting. trying not to get too worked up over the movie.

and since i'm here. i moved into my new apartment this past week. i'm finally all moved in so that makes me happy. it feels good to live alone. i start school on monday and then the whirlwind begins. hopefully i do well. i'm uploading my pictures onto shutterfly right now and hope to be done by monday....
out...