i feel like my personal life is on a downward spiral. oh i'm sure i'm being overdramatic and pessimistic but i don't care. thank goodness i like what i do for a living and find it fulfilling.

things i'm bitching about
1. my internet is fucked up again
2. i'm alone...can't be with the one that i love because we don't work/make each other happy...not ready to find someone else...which doesn't really help my loneliness does it?
3. don't feel really good about myself...just personally...don't really know who i am at this point....trying to find out, but it will take a while. i disappoint myself constantly b/c i bottle things up inside and then i blow up for no reason at all. i wish i was braver.
4. i'm impatient and only time can help me...how ironic is that?
5. i am not happy with my home life. my mother is irritating the shit out of me...i love her cuz she's my mom, but she's a child. and her scolding me for things she doesn't even do makes me want to scream. AND i know she won't/can't change because this is who she is. it's just a little harder to accept it if it's staring you in the face ALL THE TIME.
6. i hate not having an income. i feel useless/hopeless because i can't fix any of my financial problems.
7. i constantly feel stupid at work...but this isn't so bad b/c i'm only a 3rd year med student so i have about the rest of my life left to feel stupid because.....doctors are 'life long learners'
8. wow i've run out of things to bitch about......

things i'm thankful for/looking forward to
1. i think i actually picked the right profession and i'm happy about that. just have to figure out a specialty
2. my friends...they know who they are. thanks for all the support
3. my cousin Novette...always there for me...can always cheer me up somehow.
4. my sister...she can be a pain but she give me the hugs i need
5. and as much as i bitch about her, my mom...and dad. i'm thankful i have them and they support me.
6. chronicles of narnia....and i just found out they made a new version of charlotte's web which comes out in 2006
7. getting a new car.....