i was just thinking about friends tonight. how some people have a looot of friends and some people only hold a few close and keep acquaintences at a distance. i am of the latter group. not really sure why this is. maybe i'm just lazy and don't feel like wasting my time keeping in touch with people who are not necessarily all that close to me or who may not really care. or it could be that i have trust/insecurity issues when it comes to friendships; you can blame that on me moving around a lot and not having anything really stable. so it takes a lot for me to be close to someone. i dunno. sometimes i feel bad that i don't really have a lot of friends who are kind of in between. most are either really close to me, which are few, and the rest are mostly people i consider people i know through school etc. i'm trying to open up more but it's really hard for me.

i was browsing through friendster looking up my old csa peeps. funny what can happen in 5 years.

careerwise i feel like i'm doing ok and on the right track to being something great. in my personal life i feel like i'm doing crappy and on a track to being alone haha. everything's a tradeoff huh?