disclaimer: this all could be b/c i'm starting my period soon but i don't care this is how i feel!!!

ugh seriously it's time to blog. i'm so frustrated and RRGHGG! right now. school is really taking it's toll...just the stress and the pressure and the tests and the lectures and it's just too much!! i'm not even hard core studying and i cant take it! even when i relax and hang out...i'm thinking in the back of my head...i need to study i need to study....GOARREAKL;ADFGAHGIO! i can't get a break. my dreams are of school or studying and i just wake up all tense. seriously people....no one knows what the hell doctors have to go through to get to where they are!!! and then when you become a doctor people don't like you because they think they don't care...and we DO care....that's why we're in the damn profession in the first place....but there's all this shit in between the doctor and patient that prevents us from giving good healthcare. anyway that's a tangent...i'm here to complain about med school life. your whole friggin life is taken over. you can't really go out...you go out and feel guilty b/c you should have studied...then you take the test and find out you would have done exactly the same had you studied that night you went out.....then after the test you can't even relax b/c there's MORE shit to learn and it just repeats itself over and over...week after week.

take my bf for instance....he had to write 2 cover letters for a job at the Univ of Redlands....that was a month ago...b/c of his procrastination one of the positions was filled and the other position is open but sux....luckily he found another position that i actually think would fit him well. so today he has a plan to finish the cover letter...and he did....it's half a page....half a page that i could have written in 30 minutes...and he was complaining b/c it's "HARD"?? wtf is HARD it's not fucking HARD.....write that you're interested in the position and why....why you would be good for the position and what you would bring to the organization....thats' IT!!! and it took him one month...ONE MONTH to get his ass in gear to friggin write a half a page of bullshit?????!!! I fuckin wish i had it that easy...but no my task is to learn all the structures in the lower limb...arteries, nerves, muscles, veins....fatty acid biosynthesis and degradation....cell injury, pathology....all the friggin bacteria that exist....and what drugs do AND how to do manipulation..........HARD!?!?! not that his work isn't hard b/c it is...he works a lot and he's great at it...but COME ON. at least you can friggin go home and just relax and go drink beers at your friends house.

yeah ok i have to eat now...then do some microbiology. hate school man.