i am lost...feel empty...confused. find pleasure in talkin to friends...EATING. distracted by...cleaning my room--that's prolly the best time b/c there's no thought involved and it's cathartic. hate hate hate hate being like this. altho not THAT bad. just lonely i guess. cleaning out stuff is cool..u find memories that you forgot...and you kind of realize that you've had a really good life. i had some good friends in high school...and i really should get in touch w/ them again. i dunno why it was that when i left h.s. i just wanted to forget everything there...........but i had a great h.s. experience...so what's the deal?

was going through this list....in honors english senior year..our teacher made us write our name on 2 pieces of paper...one was "where i'd be in 10 years" and the other one was "good things about..." and then we passed it around the class and everyone was supposed to write one thing on both papers. i just read it...so funny that maybe 4 or 5 ppl said..."will be married or dating a black guy"...or "will have a kid who's half black and half filipino" haha. that's prolly one of the things that won't come true within the next...what is it 4 years? yeah it will prolly be on the other side of the spectrum...or in the middle somewhere.

blah blah blah boys are pooooooooooop


listening to: hot in here...nelly